The Proposal

Before we homeschooled Ruthie, she met Ryan in middle school at the age of 12. They "liked" each other back then. Ruthie was homeschooled and we moved to Idaho and they lost contact. They found each other on Facebook back in May of 2009.I've always taught Ruthie to let the guy be the one who pursues. I'm thankful she listened. Ryan pursued her like non other. He was determined to get her attention by posting on her Facebook wall and commenting on her status updates. His persistance paid off, but he had another hurdle. My husband. Ryan took all the right steps and consulted Don and got his permission to court Ruthie. After a short time, Ryan asked Don if he could marry Ruthie. Don didn't say yes at first. He told Ryan that he would pray about it and let him know in 2 weeks. Well, a week later Don gave Ryan his blessing with the restriction of not "touching" or "kissing" Ruthie until the wedding day. Ryan agreed. Ryan and my husband now talk to each other at least once a week on the phone. Don told Ryan that now he's a part of the family. Being a part of the King family means lots of hugs and saying "I love you" I watched Don as he embraced Ryan just like he does his sons.

On May 22, 2009 @ 3:00 pm, Ryan and Ruthie will declare their love for each other in front lots of friends and family. We are excited to witness this special occasion and watch their testimony of how a "Father Led, God Inspired" courtship really works. They want to be an example to other single and young people that true love waits. Even waiting to share that first kiss together.

Here's the story of their proposal as told by Ryan and Ruthie.

Ok...so we are gonna be writing this together, so we'll be bouncing back and forth between me talking and Ryan talking...hope you can keep up ;)

RuRu: Well I woke up friday morning...nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't really have anything planned for the day so I got dressed for work and didn't do my hair. Little did I know, today would be one of the most amazing days of my life.

RyRy: Friday morning I woke up and the first thing that was on my mind was...FOOD!!! (haha jkjk) Seriously though...it was Ruthie. Knowing that today would be the day that I ask her to be my wife. Taking the shuttle to the airport from my dorm and getting onto the plane...knowing that she had no clue I was coming..Getting off the plane and riding to the Chapel in her parents car...stepping into the Chapel and spotting the most beautiful woman in the place (and world) singing and worshiping God, and me sitting in the back of the Chapel waiting for it to end so I could propose to her..

RuRu: The funny thing about that Chapel service was that after the first couple of songs, I stopped and looked around..because I could swear I felt Ryan there. You know how you spend so much time with someone and you can feel their presence when they enter into the room?...that's exactly what I felt. I would see people next to me or behind me out the corner of my eye--

RyRy: --Sorry but I just wanted to say that as she was looking around, I thought she had seen me, and the surprise was gone! But thank God she didn't see me!

RuRu: Yeah I had no clue! Ok...so...back to my story ;) I thought you were standing next to me. But I started to rationalize in my mind that "No...he's in school. There is no way he could be here.. STOP THINKING IT RUTHIE!" And the feeling was bugging me the whole way through the rest of the Chapel. Then Chapel ended...I looked around...just to make sure he wasn't there, got my stuff and started to walk through the center isle out the double-swinging doors.. And then, someone told me that someone was there to see me, so I turned around and...there was Ryan! I was in shock haha Literally I was paralyzed and started to say over and over "Are you really here?", and he reassured me that he was :)

RyRy: I'm going to back track and tell you when I was doing leading up to the proposal. I got to the Chapel about 40 mintues til the end of it and so I kind of lost track of what I was actually there for because the Chapel was so moving and powerful that I had to stop and start saying to myself "I am here to propose!!" So with about five mintues to go I went out into the little hallway to wait for Ruthie to walk down the middle isle. When she passed me and her friend told her that I was over by the wall, I started to walk towards her and she went into her "Are you here" stage. And then I told her..."Ruthie, you know i love you. You know that God destined us to be together." Then I got down on one knee and pulled out the ring that was in my pocket and said those four wonderful words..."Will you marry me?"

RuRu: And I looked into his eyes...and knew in my heart...that the answer was yes. And so at the entrance way of the Chapel, with a big group of people around, I smiled and laughed a little...and said "Yes!".... Gosh that was wonderful :D Then we turned around and my parents rushed in, Mom with the camera in hand and captured a few of those precious moments. This was absolutely unexpected and I loved it. Ryan proposed in the most unpredictable and special way. And I'm very very proud to say that I am going to marry him, and spend the rest of my life with this wonderful man!

RuRu & RyRy: Thats all folks!! haha

Oh Foolish Woman, Stop Throwing a Tantrum

Take a look at this picture. Is that you?

I'm naturally an encourager. I can sit and encourage another woman on how to minister to her husband and children for hours on end. What I can't do is waste time watching a foolish woman throwing a tantrum. What she doesn't realize is that in the midst of her walking around the house with her bottom lip poked out because things aren't going her way, she's tearing down her house.

I was reading about her this morning in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 1. "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her own hands."

Does this woman realize the effects that her tantrum is having on her family? Let's take a quick look at what her tantrum is doing to her children.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." When a child hears a mother complaining about having so many kids, it causes some confusion. Our children see her reading her Bible and confessing that it's God's infallible Word. They even hear her saying "Amen" to the preacher on Sunday morning. But because she can't do some of the things that her friends without children can do, she pouts. She get tired and frustrated and don't want to cook because she keeps repeating the lie she heard that she "deserves to go out and eat." What about that outfit she saw on sale the other day? It can't be hers this payday because Little Johnny has once again outgrown his shoes.

She allows her mind to contemplate over and over again about how her life can be like if she wasn't "burdened" down with kids. All this while she's walking down the hall kicking the toys out of the way. But don't worry about the kids at this moment. They've become accustomed to her tantrums and they are hidden out of her sight because they feel like it's their fault anyway. Confused, of course, because they know the Bible says they are a blessing, but they are being treated like a burden.

Now where should I start with the poor husband. I can start by talking about his confusion as well. I think he's more confused than the kids. He's spends so many lonely nights thinking about the sweet young girl he married. How can a married man feel lonely at night when his wife is laying right beside him? Remember what I said before, he was thinking about that sweet young girl he married. The woman laying next to him has become grouchy and non-affectionate toward him because she says she's suffering from PMS (premenstrual syndrome). He's really confused because he was positive she was already having her menstrual cycle long before they were married. During their dating time, he was clueless to her suffering from PMS. All he knew is that he was hot stuff because she couldn't stop looking at his body. She had to refrain from touching it, but now he feels like his body doesn't exist to her.

Her husband walks around on egg shells because he doesn't want to say anything to set her off. He's lost his ability to make the final decision as head of his family because he knows if it's one she doesn't like, she won't talk to him for a week. Maybe longer depending on how she feels. He doesn't see himself as the one leading his home, so he won't lead at church either. (Ooops! Did I just say that?! ) Yes he'll come to church with her and the kids. He'll even tithe faithfully, but taking on a leadership role is another story. He feels like he has failed as a leader in his home and don't want to embarass his wife being trying to be a leader at church. Plus he's tired of his wife comparing him to Brother John Doe.

Then one day she gets this great revelation that they are not suppose to be at this church any longer because God told her it's time to leave. Where are they going to go now? Her husband is not worried about them finding another church. He knows that she'll find one for the family. If he doesn't like it, he'll just stay home. This foolish woman is okay with that too. She'll have a chance to show this new church just how spiritual she is. She'll share her testimony to the saints about how she's being obedient to the Word and staying with her unsaved husband.

Whew! This foolish woman is out of control. Doesn't she realize she can make a choice to stop being so foolish? If she would just stop for a minute and cease worshipping the god of Me-ism, she can change. She must first acknowledge her foolishness. She must ask God for forgiveness and take it a step further to seek the forgiveness of her husband and children. She must surround herself with Titus 2 women and allow them to speak into her life. She can become that excellent wife who is a crown to her husband.

"My Boaz" ~ By: Ruth

The excerpt below was written by my daughter Ruthie on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 5:41pm. I was looking through her notes on Facebook and can across this note she wrote. She titled it "My Boaz" I've been actively involved with a group on Facebook called "Daughter's of the King" and we're doing a study on the Book of Ruth . When I came across this, I found some similarities in my writings on the Book of Ruth and that of my daughters. It was so encouraging to read what Ruthie had written. Now that she's in a courtship, I'm glad I took the time to invest in her and train her to be a godly woman. I joked around a few months ago about waiting for my Boaz to come on the scene. And even in the midst of the joking, something started to really stir in my heart.

In Bible times, when parents named their children, those names had very prophetic meaning. They'd be named, and somewhere in the span of their lifetime, a situation (or string of situations) would occur that fell in line with that name. I have always found that completely amazing! How did the parents know? Did the person give meaning to the name or did the name give meaning to the person or is it both? (Things that make you go hmmmmm =) )

But looking over the book of Ruth, I see alot of connections between this Biblical character and myself. In the Hebrew, Ruth means "Beautiful friend" or "Friend of Beauty". I like the explanation given to the name Ruth here:
"She is strong, dedicated, well respected, and hard working; she will fight for those she loves; a born leader"

What a great name I have! I love it! (Thank you Mom!)

I share basically all of these characteristics with Ruth. Not only that, but Ruth also had her share of hardships. She ended up a widow after her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in-law all died. She had left the land which she came from in order to stick by her mother-in-law who was really going through it. She was a stranger in a foreign land. She was just doing the best she could to honor Naomi and God.

And man, in so many ways, that has been my story. Things in my life have died in the past. There have been moments of feeling like I don't belong. Moments when all I had to hold onto were the promises God had made me.

But none-the-less, Ruth positioned herself in the best place to find the awesome man of God she deserved more than anyone else--Boaz. Boaz was wealthy and prosperous, but caring and compassionate to those under him. He was just minding his own business when he saw Ruth for the first time. He inquired of her. And all Ruth was doing was being faithful to what Naomi had said. She was just going about her business, not trying to seek the attention of anyone, not wanting to be put first, but rather, humbly stepped back and was last. And THAT is what drew Boaz to her.

How many times do we young women feel like we need to strive in order to have the man God created for us to be with to see us? We've got it wrong, girls. You need to do only one thing: just be you. Don't work to get attention. If you have to work to get it, then maybe he's just not Boaz. Don't try to get the spotlight. Ruth placed herself last, and as a reward, she became the great grandmother of King David, and she is found in the blood line of Jesus! And just be patient. Go about your business. Serve the Lord. Serve the Church. Keep your eyes focused on harvesting for the Kingdom as Ruth was harvesting for Naomi, and one day when you aren't expecting it, you'll look up and see your Boaz =)

That's really all I wanted to say. That's something I've been letting marinate in my heart for months now, but couldn't quite find the words to explain it all. But I have now =)

True Love Really Does Wait

February is the month when we will hear and see the words, "I Love You" everywhere we go. During this time there will be young men and especially young women waiting for Cupid's arrow to pierce them. I've seen many young women that will put themselves in Cupid's path on purpose to make sure they're hit. They can be standing from afar watching Cupid do his thing. They've seen him lodge the arrow so deep into another woman's heart, only to yank it out and take a piece of it with him. Willing to look past the fact that he's planted a seed that that he will not water nor provide nourishing food.

We tell ourselves that it's different this time. It's different because I'm different. I'm not like all the other silly girls. He loves me.....

Young women believe a lie straight from the pit itself. It's easy to believe because we all want to be loved. What woman wouldn't want to be held by a man and have him whisper words to us that sends our imagination seeing him running across the field towards us with a bouquet of flowers hand picked by him.

Then next thing you know you've given something precious to him that God intended for your husband. You did it because you really love him and he loves you. News flash, "True Love Waits!"

Love is not suppose to hurt the core of who you are. Love is not suppose to leave you with a heart so broken that the only way you feel you can mend it it by giving it to someone new. Only to say the same line over again to ourselves, "It's different because I'm different. I'm not like all the other silly girls. He loves me....." Last I knew a gerbil is something that's suppose to jump on a wheel and go round and round. Not you!

"True Love Waits!" and it will wait as long as you need it to. I Corinthians 13 tells us that love is patient and it's kind. If your beau does not display either of these characteristics, it's not love and he is not the one for you!

It's not to late for you to get a fresh start. When we repent and come to Christ, we become new creature. That old nature is gone. You can start today, February 1st, and make a commitment that you will wait.

If you're a mother and you think that there's no way of your child changing and making a commitment to wait, think again. Your daughter is crying out for boundaries to be made in her life. Offering to give her birth control pills is not creating a boundary for her. Giving you son a condom "just in case" he needs it is not creating a boundary. Teach them the importance of waiting. Waiting for that true love, even if they've made a mistake. God doesn't throw us away when we make a mistake.

If you're a young woman who wants to make a commitment and need someone to be a mediator between you and your beau, yes I said a mediator and not an accountability partner. The reason why I say this is because you can tell your accountability partner what you want them to knew. A mediator will be in the midst of the relationship offering guidance and pointing you in the right direction. Find a couple in your church to help you in your relationship process.

Psalm 25:21 ~ "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for you."

*The young lady in the picture above is my daughter Ruthie. She took this picture and I titled it, "Waiting For Boaz" Ruthie is in a "Father Led, God Inspired" courtship right now. I will talk more about that in a later post. Her and Ryan have made a choice to demonstrate God's love and be an example to other youth by making a commitment to wait. They both say, that not only do they want to please God, but they want to make their parents proud as well.