A Birthday Letter To My Firstborn

My Dearest Sweetie,

Fond memories of you will flood my mind today. Today is a special day because it's your birthday. This birthday is the first birthday that we will not get to celebrate together because you're at Bible College. Oh how I miss you today and everyday, but you are answering the call of God on your life. For that I say Amen!

In late August of 1989, I cried with joy as I sat on the edge of the examining table. I couldn't believe what I just heard, "The pregnancy test come back positive." I was shocked. I knew something had change with my body, but the 3 home pregnancy test all came back negative. It wasn't until a blood test confirmed it. What was even more shocking is that fact that I was pregnant. I was told early in life that it would be hard for me to conceive.

It scared me the first time I felt you flutter. I was so young and had so many questions. I was told it was normal and as time goes on I would start to feel you kick. When you started kicking, I was in such awe that I would just lay across the bed and savor the moments.

A week before you were born I started having contraction. I remember standing in line at Big 8 talking to a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. She asked how far apart were my contractions. I answered so proudly, "12 minutes and it doesn't even hurt like they said it would." She informed me a had a long way to go. I didn't understand until 5 days later.

After laboring with you for over 44 hours I received the worst news. There was a shift change at 11:00 pm and a new nurse came in and called the doctor because something was deathly wrong. She asked why had I not pushed the call button for a nurse to come in. I told her that the last nurse had taken away the call button. The doctor came in and said, "We have to do an emergency c-section right now!" Then he started saying a few choice words to the nurses because I had been neglected. I wasn't sure about a lot of things that happened during labor. I was in and out of consciousness. You were born April 23, at 11:37 pm.

While in the hospital, you cried so much. I could not stop you from crying. A nurse came in and asked what was wrong. I told her I didn't think I was a good mother because I couldn't stop you from crying. She asked when did I last feed you. I told her I fed you breakfast at 6 this morning and it was too early for lunch because it was only 10:00. She informed me that nursing babies had to eat about every 2-3 hours. I didn't know. I thought you would eat 3 meals a day like me. Glad I didn't nurse you just 3 times a day......I can laugh about it now, but not then.

When you came home from the hospital I couldn't put you down. My family said that I would "spoil" you by holding you all the time. I couldn't comprehend that because what I was doing seemed so natural. Today when I reflect back, I'm so glad I held you all the time. I don't regret carrying you while I did chores around the house. I became a pro at doing dishes and scrubbing the sink with 1 hand.

I remember your first day of school. It was such a big ordeal. The whole family went. I'm still not sure who cried more me or Dad. I do remember that I always wanted you to look your best when you went to school. Everything had to match.

Then one day you grew up and decided to start doing your own hair and picking out your own clothes. It was so hard for me to let go. You were growing up so fast. I was afraid that you wouldn't need me anymore. Boy that was far from the truth.

Most parents hate the teen years. Not me. During this stage of your life, I enjoyed the time we had as a homeschool family. Some people didn't understand why we would homeschool teenagers. We understood and that's what mattered. Homeschooling was so much fun. I will always remember how would dance all afternoon and call it PE.

When you did go back to public school, you made us proud. We sat back with confidence knowing that you were strong in the Word and you knew who you were in Jesus. We raised you to be confident and compassionate. You graduated with honors and told so many of your friends about Jesus. You lead so many to the Lord and now you want to fulfill the Great commission. We bless you Sweetie to go into the world and take the saving message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ into all the nations and make disciples.

Ruth is currently attending Portland Bible College majoring in Worship Music.
http://www.myspace.com/ruthieking23