Thursday, February 18, 2010

Oh Foolish Woman, Stop Throwing a Tantrum

Take a look at this picture. Is that you?

I'm naturally an encourager. I can sit and encourage another woman on how to minister to her husband and children for hours on end. What I can't do is waste time watching a foolish woman throwing a tantrum. What she doesn't realize is that in the midst of her walking around the house with her bottom lip poked out because things aren't going her way, she's tearing down her house.

I was reading about her this morning in Proverbs chapter 14, verse 1. "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls it down with her own hands."

Does this woman realize the effects that her tantrum is having on her family? Let's take a quick look at what her tantrum is doing to her children.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." When a child hears a mother complaining about having so many kids, it causes some confusion. Our children see her reading her Bible and confessing that it's God's infallible Word. They even hear her saying "Amen" to the preacher on Sunday morning. But because she can't do some of the things that her friends without children can do, she pouts. She get tired and frustrated and don't want to cook because she keeps repeating the lie she heard that she "deserves to go out and eat." What about that outfit she saw on sale the other day? It can't be hers this payday because Little Johnny has once again outgrown his shoes.

She allows her mind to contemplate over and over again about how her life can be like if she wasn't "burdened" down with kids. All this while she's walking down the hall kicking the toys out of the way. But don't worry about the kids at this moment. They've become accustomed to her tantrums and they are hidden out of her sight because they feel like it's their fault anyway. Confused, of course, because they know the Bible says they are a blessing, but they are being treated like a burden.

Now where should I start with the poor husband. I can start by talking about his confusion as well. I think he's more confused than the kids. He's spends so many lonely nights thinking about the sweet young girl he married. How can a married man feel lonely at night when his wife is laying right beside him? Remember what I said before, he was thinking about that sweet young girl he married. The woman laying next to him has become grouchy and non-affectionate toward him because she says she's suffering from PMS (premenstrual syndrome). He's really confused because he was positive she was already having her menstrual cycle long before they were married. During their dating time, he was clueless to her suffering from PMS. All he knew is that he was hot stuff because she couldn't stop looking at his body. She had to refrain from touching it, but now he feels like his body doesn't exist to her.

Her husband walks around on egg shells because he doesn't want to say anything to set her off. He's lost his ability to make the final decision as head of his family because he knows if it's one she doesn't like, she won't talk to him for a week. Maybe longer depending on how she feels. He doesn't see himself as the one leading his home, so he won't lead at church either. (Ooops! Did I just say that?! ) Yes he'll come to church with her and the kids. He'll even tithe faithfully, but taking on a leadership role is another story. He feels like he has failed as a leader in his home and don't want to embarass his wife being trying to be a leader at church. Plus he's tired of his wife comparing him to Brother John Doe.

Then one day she gets this great revelation that they are not suppose to be at this church any longer because God told her it's time to leave. Where are they going to go now? Her husband is not worried about them finding another church. He knows that she'll find one for the family. If he doesn't like it, he'll just stay home. This foolish woman is okay with that too. She'll have a chance to show this new church just how spiritual she is. She'll share her testimony to the saints about how she's being obedient to the Word and staying with her unsaved husband.

Whew! This foolish woman is out of control. Doesn't she realize she can make a choice to stop being so foolish? If she would just stop for a minute and cease worshipping the god of Me-ism, she can change. She must first acknowledge her foolishness. She must ask God for forgiveness and take it a step further to seek the forgiveness of her husband and children. She must surround herself with Titus 2 women and allow them to speak into her life. She can become that excellent wife who is a crown to her husband.


12 comments:

Mrs A said...

Oh Sandra, wonderful blog.. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Wish I had known this wisdom as a newly married woman.. but praise God I know it now :)

S. Belle said...

Wow! How convicting. I really needed to read that. I was just thinking today about how blessed I am to be able to be home with my children, and I need to focus on the blessings of it more, instead of the sacrifices involved in doing so.

Such a wonderful and inspiring post!

christine mayo said...

A good word for today and everyday....I even had to take off my shoes..... continue to bless us with your writings.....

Simple Christian Homemaker said...

Wonderful post! It's a good reminder to be content with the season of life God has us in. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Well......It's tight but it's right. What an encouragement and conviction! Thank you for not holding back! Keep it coming. Sister Janelle

Mary R. said...

Wow, what a cool post!

Lori said...

Hey- I know this is an older post, but you know how the links get-- this post to that post all over your blog!

If only Titus 2 women were so easy to find! Foolish love to teach!

Emilie said...

Sandra, I wonder if you might have a word of wisdom for me- I am struggling to get over my husband's porn and honesty problem- he says I need to forgive him and move on. To me the pain is sometimes large and seemingly insurmountable and other times seems behind me. I love the Lord and wish this hurt could be something that does not have such a piercing.

Love Abounds At Home said...

Hello Emilie! Thank you for stopping by my blog.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Please know that the pain you are feeling is real. Your husband was in error for viewing pornography and not being truthful. He was right in saying you need to forgive him. It may be a process for you to forgive. With saying that, that does not mean that you have to continually to stand by and let him indulge in pornography.

There is healing after a spouse has violated the marriage. To me, pornography is just like adultery. I've known many couples who have been able to heal after violations have been committed in the marriage. For some, it was as easy as forgiving and moving on. For others, a third party, such as a counselor or pastor had to come in and assist.

I'll continue to pray for you. You can email me anytime: mother2worldchangers@gmail.com

*hugs* Emilie!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this and sharing in your blog. I really love the beautiful pictures on the side. Blessings to you and family, L in WA

Along the way said...

How i needed to read this post! Thank you so much :)I am one of your new followers and I am so glad that I'm here!!

Soulja said...

this helped me..i have taken the liberty of quoting you... here
http://hiddensoulja.blogspot.in/2012/06/my-wife-is-hulk.html