Sharing Life

I cannot count the times I've sat at the table for lunch longing to share a tuna fish sandwich with someone. It wasn't because I was bored or home alone. Quite the opposite. My home is always bustling with noise and boredom doesn't exist due to the many sewing and quilting projects.

The longing I have is more than sharing a sandwich, but it's sharing life. As I look around at the different blogs, I see an influx of young women with a Titus 2 heart and a passion to learn how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Recently, I've had the honor of connecting with them outside blogland. Some are still in there teens.


While reading the Titus 2 passage of Scripture, I often wonder where is the missing link. Are the younger women looking for us older women and we are no where to be found? Are the older women waiting for an opportunity to pour life's wisdom into younger women but they are so busy running to and fro thus not allowing time to glean? Maybe it's neither, but a fear of being transparent.


When we are transparent, we are made visible by a light shining through us. The result of transparency is exposure. When we are exposed, it simply means that others can see through us. 


I know there are things in the lives of women that we just don't want to expose. For me, there were things that I kept hidden for years. I was fearful. Didn't want to be transparent because that meant that other people would know "my business" and those secret things would be exposed. 


What I didn't realize, it's those very things I kept hidden were the very things that God used to set other women free. 


For years I wouldn't talk about my child birthing experiences. I didn't want other women to know that I felt like a failure. I felt as though I failed as a woman because I didn't birth my children naturally. It wasn't until I had a private conversation with a young woman who confided that she felt as though her body betrayed her too. Exposing how I felt about my experience brought freedom to her. Now when I meet women who birthed by cesarean section, I jokingly ask them if they want to join the "C Club." 


Sharing life. Sharing a transparent life. A life unashamed for all to see because the light that's shining through me is the light of Jesus Christ.

Hand Made Gifts and Rejection

On this past weekend I attended a baby shower for a precious sister that I've become so fond of since moving to Vancouver. I was a little nervous at first because this would be the first time I fellowshipped with the ladies at church. Our church has 2 campus' and we were joining in with our Portland campus to celebrate the mother and the new life that will be here any day now. Being around people didn't make me nervous, it was my gift.

Most of the gifts I make are handmade aka homemade. I really wasn't sure how my gift would be received. Some people like handmade gifts and some don't. From my experiences in the past, I was nervous though. I felt that there was something much deeper at work here than a "homemade" gift. Once again, it wasn't so much whether or not my gift would be received, but rather would I be rejected because of my gift.

Why in the world would I be rejected because of my gift? Is a question I kept asking myself. Well, if your a person who has dealt with rejection, you know what I'm talking about. Often times when rejection takes it ugly grip on us, we have to continue to fight as we dig up the root that planted itself there.

As I sat there as the gifts were being opened, I made sure I looked around for the nearest EXIT sign in big red letters. Often times when we are faced with rejection, we look for the nearest exit. Sometimes those around us who knows our weakness will push us to the exit sign only to grab us by the arm before walk out the door. It becomes a game they like to play, but there are the only ones having fun.

Then one day you get to that exit door and you walk outside. For the first time in years you smell fresh air and the freedom that comes with it. You turn around and face your rejector and tell them your free. You will no longer play the game. The game is over and you're the winner because standing behind your rejector are those who are exposing their weaknesses in secret.

I was so relieved when my handmade gift was received with great joy by the expecting mom. The gift was a beautiful crib quilt. I look forward to meeting the baby boy that will be added to the church family. But the thing I look forward to the most is bonding with the women at church and being vulnerable to them and not being afraid to expose my weaknesses out of fear of rejection.

I've learned in life that in my weaknesses, God's strength will prevail.

Hugs For Friends

I woke up this morning and realized how important my friends are to me. Sometimes I have the tendency to take them for granted. I know for some women friendship can be a sore subject because of past and or present experiences. One things for sure, we as women need each other. I learned a long time ago that I couldn't walk this journey alone. I needed to have friends.

Often times I hear women say that they get along better with guys because women are "messy" Yes, there are women out there who are "messy" I for one quoted this statement on numerous occasions all the while my heart ached for friendship with other women. It wasn't until I changed when I realized just how much fun friendships can be. I had to let my guard down and stop playing Magnum P.I. looking for clues to prove that "her and I just can't be friends because of....."

If you have been hurt because of past friendships with other women, take it to the cross. Forgive. Open up your heart. There's a woman out there who's looking for a friend like you. Will you be her friend?
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Friends possess remarkable keys. They open the locked doors of our lives. They give us entrance to places we'd never dare go by ourselves. They fling wide the gates of lush, secret gardens. They take us to treasure rooms glistening with gifts we're sure we don't deserve.

Friends unlatch the windows of our souls. They grip the drapes we've drawn around ourselves and yank them back to let God's gleaming light stream in. They pull and tug until the windows pop open and fresh, new breezes fill our musty hearts.

When storms throw trees across our path, a friend will lend her strength to haul the logs away. Friends are not fazed by our roadblocks. They come equipped with chain saws. They help us chop our obstacles like firewood then strike a match to them. they make sparks fly up from the flames. They say, "Why not sit awhile and warm yourself by this nice fire?" When the smoke clears, friends pass out coat hangers and feast with us on roasted marshmallows until the last ember dies.

Friends have sight where we are blind. They are guides through the jungles of our past. They are fearless to face the dangers we know lurk beneath the brush. Friends hack and slash at the wild, clinging thoughts that bind us. With grace, they loose us from our blindfolds then tie them on branches, making trail for the future.

Friends create breakthroughs. The best ones are agents of God. Like him, they stand us in front of a mirror and introduce us to ourselves.

*From the book "Hugs For Friends" by: LeAnn Weiss & Caron Loveless

Freindships

Today I had lunch with some dear friends. Two of the elderly ladies that were there had been friends for a long time. As I sat there and watch how these two ladies interacted with each other, I asked myself a question. "Why is it that women can't have friendships like that these days?"

These dear ladies are both widows now. Both are home bound and rely on friends and family to help them get around town. They shared a story of how they first met. Right away there was an instant connection. Years of camping, fishing, taking food to each other if one was ill and raising children together......After all these years that connection is still there. They wanted to wait on each other during lunch, but they needed to be waited on.

The conversation between the two of them centered around the Lord. Maybe that's why women don't have friendships like that anymore. Could it be that when we get together, we converse about everything and everybody else that we forget about who should be at the center of our conversations? When young people get married, we quickly tell them to let God be the center of their marriage. When marital conflict arises, we remind the couple to make sure God is at the center of the marriage. In our friendships, a vital part is missing, the Lord. God wants to be at the center of our friendships if we let Him. But do we really want Him being the center if we are doing and saying things that we shouldn't? First things first, if you have a friend, I don't care how long you all have been friends or who she is.....if she is talking negative about other people, I'm 99.99% sure she's doing the same thing to you. I think in our hearts we know that.

I think I may have answered my question.

Some woman may think that they don't need any friends. Some women may not trust other women. Some say, "I get along better with guys." First of all, we all need friends and we need to trust. It's great if we get along better with guys, but there's a need in our life for friendships with other women. When you're sick and take care of things around the house, you need a friend to help you. You won't share about what's "really' wrong with you cause you don't trust women. This can cause us to isolate ourselves. When we are in isolation, we don't have backup when the enemy is telling us lies. A friend will have your back, stand with you as you face the enemy and start swinging (praying) if she needs to.

One day, 40 years from now, I will sit with my dear friends and reflect. We will talk about the Lord and all the things we did together as families.

To all the women who want to have God as the center of their friendships, I say "hello" and "welcome to my life, my friend."