Friday, February 13, 2009


Today I had lunch with some dear friends. Two of the elderly ladies that were there had been friends for a long time. As I sat there and watch how these two ladies interacted with each other, I asked myself a question. "Why is it that women can't have friendships like that these days?"

These dear ladies are both widows now. Both are home bound and rely on friends and family to help them get around town. They shared a story of how they first met. Right away there was an instant connection. Years of camping, fishing, taking food to each other if one was ill and raising children together......After all these years that connection is still there. They wanted to wait on each other during lunch, but they needed to be waited on.

The conversation between the two of them centered around the Lord. Maybe that's why women don't have friendships like that anymore. Could it be that when we get together, we converse about everything and everybody else that we forget about who should be at the center of our conversations? When young people get married, we quickly tell them to let God be the center of their marriage. When marital conflict arises, we remind the couple to make sure God is at the center of the marriage. In our friendships, a vital part is missing, the Lord. God wants to be at the center of our friendships if we let Him. But do we really want Him being the center if we are doing and saying things that we shouldn't? First things first, if you have a friend, I don't care how long you all have been friends or who she is.....if she is talking negative about other people, I'm 99.99% sure she's doing the same thing to you. I think in our hearts we know that.

I think I may have answered my question.

Some woman may think that they don't need any friends. Some women may not trust other women. Some say, "I get along better with guys." First of all, we all need friends and we need to trust. It's great if we get along better with guys, but there's a need in our life for friendships with other women. When you're sick and take care of things around the house, you need a friend to help you. You won't share about what's "really' wrong with you cause you don't trust women. This can cause us to isolate ourselves. When we are in isolation, we don't have backup when the enemy is telling us lies. A friend will have your back, stand with you as you face the enemy and start swinging (praying) if she needs to.

One day, 40 years from now, I will sit with my dear friends and reflect. We will talk about the Lord and all the things we did together as families.

To all the women who want to have God as the center of their friendships, I say "hello" and "welcome to my life, my friend."


Well Watered Woman said...

Sandra, this was very good and SO true. There is an art to friendships and cultivating them - the master artist is the Lord.
I think in 40 years we will gather around a table full of crab legs, talk of the Lord and laugh until we cry.

Civilla said...

Saw you at Deanna's blog. God Bless You. What you have said about friends is true.

BTW, I live a couple of hours away from the Laura Ingalls Wilder homestead. We visited there once and it was neat. You can see all of their stuff, including Mary's trunk that she took to the college for the blind, Ma's Bible, Grace's swan coat. Most of the stuff was Carrie's stuff. You can also see the cemetery where here are all buried.

Deanna said...

Dear Sandra,

Sure like this writing you have

One of my dearest girlfriends is almost 90. I love her dearly and felt like she was a Christian spiritual mentor to me.

When we'd get together we had girl talk and there was no age difference between us. This was always awesome.

Thank you for being a blog follower! I will enjoy reading your blog. Glad you are blogging.

God richly bless you,
Deanna from the Kansas Flinthills

Buildeth Her House said...

This was a great post for women to read. Thanks for posting it!

Civilla said...

Good post. I don't have many friends because I live in a small town in a rural area: just a couple here in town and ladies from church (we pastor a small church). I have many old friends that I contact by telephone, or e-mail. Glad to meet you. God bless. Saw you on A Marriage After His Heart. Blessings.