Monday, March 9, 2009


I love to watch people. When I lived in Vegas, I would go to the food court in the mall and buy a corndog & lemonade from "Hotdog On A Stick." I would find me a table somewhat in the middle of the food court so that I can have a good view of my surroundings. I would take my time eating because I was always entertained by the show that was taking place around me. I'll call it "The People's Show." Maybe I gave it that title because I remember how people would put on a show by "cuttin up" in public. You always have the toddler who doesn't want to eat the hamburger, but wants to play with the toy from the Happy Meal. You always have the Jr. High girls giggling with her friends because they are being followed by a group of Jr. High school boys who didn't know exactly what to do with their hormones. The teenage girls who needed help purchasing some extra clothes to cover to body. Well, if her body isn't covered up all the way that will make it easier for her boyfriend to get aquainted with her 36-24-36 measurements while standing in line waiting to order food. Or the man who's checking out the other babes wishing he had a different one on his arm. Last but not least, it never fails to see a woman disrespecting her husband in some form or another.

At times you can see it on the poor guys face. Red from embarassment. Steam coming out of his nose and ears from anger. Some men just retreat into their little "innerman" to continue coping with the disrespect that his had to live with all these years. Maybe sometimes it's easier that way than to cause a scene whether in public or in the privacy of their homes. What saddens me the most is when we as Christian women fall into this category.

The Bible (not Sandra) tell us that we are to respect our husbands.

Definition for respect = The special esteem or consideration in which one holds another person or thing; reard, esteem and honor.

Respect is treating someone in an edifying manner. Respect is an essential for any relationship to flourish.

Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

It's so easy for us as women to love because that's the way we were create. We are nurturers by nature. I believe it's more difficult for us to show respect. The first place a man needs to be respected is in his own home. When we show respect to our husbands, it sends a strong message to our children. If our children are not showing our husbands respect, then we need to make sure we are modeling it for them. When we respect our husbands, it will reflect in his life. He will be a better business man, a better leader and a better father.

We need to also respect our husbands even when no one else is around.

One day my husband was getting ready for work. I was not being respectful to him. I was angry at him and I allowed my anger to turn into sin. Yes when I was disrespecting him aka "telling him off" I was in sin. Even if my anger was justified, I didn't have to fall into sin. Later that night I felt so convicted about the way I spoke to him. I asked the Lord to forgive me. Then I thought about the fact that my husband was probably having a horrible night at work. So, I packed the kids up and drove on a Saturday night to the Las Vegas strip. Traffic was horrible. When I made to his work place, he was shocked to see me. I asked him to forgive me for disrespecting him the way I did.

Something broke that night. I didn't have to seek forgiveness from my husband. I could have just continued to live life the way I had been. Afterall, no one but him and me knew what took place. No one else saw. Isn't that just like the enemy. He wants us to justify and not expose sin even if it's "little" or "no one else will know."

Someone said, "Treat him like a man and he will act like one. If you treat him like a child, he will act like one."

When we show our husbands respect, so will other people. How do you think the Proverbs 31 husband was respected at the city gates, where he took his seat among the elders of the land? (Pro. 31:23)

A final note, I thought about Aretha Franklin's song R-e-s-p-e-c-t. What if a man would have sung that song first. Would it have been as popular?

Things that make you go hmmm......


L.H. said...

Great post! I think you are right on about it being natural for women to give love, and more challenging for us to render respect.

I've been thinking about and reading more on the Prov 31 woman and that verse that says her husband "trust in her." It makes me think that she must not only respect him, but be someone who he can count on. He must know she has his back no matter what. I ask myself, "does my husband feel that way about me?" I am praying that God will make me the kind of wife that my husband's heart can safely trust in.

Also, sometimes we forget how much pressure and disrespect our husbands get outside the home. Home is the LAST place they need it at!

Thanks for the comment you left on my blog! It was encouraging. I was actually just praying today for wisdom and direction for disciplining my children so they can do better w/sitting still in public. I'll appreciate any insight!

Persuaded said...

Oh girl.. you are *good!* As a single woman, I cannot tell you how it breaks my heart and yes, even angers me at times to see women disrespecting their men... often times wonderful Godly men, who are respected and looked up to by almost everyone else. so so so sad....

and did you know that R.E.S.P.E.C.T. was actually written by a man...
yes, things that make you go hmm, indeed:)

Deanna said...

Dear Sandra,
Enjoyed reading this post.
Like the way you described the mall people's behavior
Hope all is well,

American Home said...

You are a wise woman! Thanks for the great post. It made my day.

Sharon said...

I believe I needed this today. I had one of these discussions with my husband this morning.

Proverbs 27:19 said...

Hi Sandra! This is my first visit and I am liking it. You are a great hostess!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T was actually sung by a man first...Otis Redding I believe. But this just proves your point of it not being as popular.

Have you viewed the 'Love & Respect' seminar by Emerson Eggerich? It is awesome. My husband and I have seen it twice.

I'll be back to visit.


MOMSWEB said...

Amen! I enjoy people watching also (smile). Enjoyed my visit with you!

Well Watered Woman said...

This was awesome! I remember you telling me about this. Sandra you are such a good wife and you are Don are so blessed.

Love Abounds At Home said...

Proverbs 27:19 - I have not viewed the Love & Respect seminar. Sounds like something I would love to see.

~Lisi P. said...

Your posts always speak to the heart! Thank you for sharing.

I love to people watch as well; I think it helps me to sit still & focus on the world around me.