Monday, June 1, 2009

Speak Life

When was the last time you spoke life into your child?

As I sat there this past Saturday watching Trae make history by becoming the first male in my family to graduate, Don whispered in my ear, "You're a great mother. You always encourage the kids. It's all because of you."

I thought the tears were already flowing, but after he said that I was looking for a bucket to catch them. I can't say that I did anything special or brought a number of "how-to" books. One thing I did and always do is speak life to my children. When I see their flaws, most times I often overlook them because we are all a work in progress. Plus I wouldn't want my kids to talk about my flaws because they would have lots to talk about.

There have been times that I've commented to another mom on something good that her child has done. Then she will proceed to tell me everything "bad" that Johnny did last week. Imagine the shame Johnny must feel when he's in hearing distance of mommy's conversation. Or when I tell mommy that Suzy looks so cute in that outfit. Mommy doesn't hesitate to say that Suzy went from a size 4T to a 6x because she can't get rid of the "baby fat."

As I look through my purse for a muzzle to put over mom's mouth I now understand why Johnny acts the way he does and Suzy's lack of confidence.

I always tell my kids that they will be history makers in this land. That they will change the world. That they are leaders and not followers. That they don't follow the trend, they set it. I tell them that I'm a mother to world changers.

I'll admit that at first it was a struggle for me to say those things. I had no idea what I was doing when I became a mother. I was so young. Yes I was a teenager. One thing I did know is that I wanted my kids to make a difference in this world. But in order for them to do that it had to start with me. I had to change my way of thinking. I first had to believe that it was possible for my kids to change the world. If I didn't believe it, how could I convince them.

One day while sitting in the rocking chair nursing Ben, I started saying to him all these great things that he was going to do when he grew up. I then looked at the other 3 kids running through the house. One by one I saw the potential in each one of them. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I knew that I had tapped into something. I was always a positive mom, but I knew that I needed to convey to my children the potential that I saw.

My children are history makers and so are yours. Tell them that today.
*Turn the music off from the sidebar to listen to this song.


Lorrie said...

O.k. this post hit me square in the eye! This is my greatest failing. All my kids have Moses/Peter personalities...and struggle with them not having my or my husband's temperment. Somehow we thought we'd have children who'd behave/act...just like us. I need NOT to be so critical of my kids.

licia31 said...

Thank you for this post. My mom didn't speak a lot of positivity into me, but she did speak a lot of lessons. When/if I have children one day, I want to speak good things into them & positivity.

I know your children say, "I have a great mom!"


Persuaded said...

i think that many moms talk like this about their children in a misguided attempt at humility... and truly, as moms we are so identified with our children that a compliment to them *feels* like a compliment to ourself. it's like if someone gives you an effusive compliment, you feel the need to downplay it a bit.

that said i have also found my heart breaking for a young person or child in situations similar to the ones you have mentioned. as mothers do need to remember that our children are *not* ourselves! they are their own unique and separate person. our negative words, even when from virtuous intent, can wound our children almost more than anything else.

very wise post, sandra♥

Well Watered Woman said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it! Preach it girl! And this is one of our favorite songs too.

Proverbs 27:19 said...

Thank you Sandra for sharing this experience. You are not just posting some random stuff you learned from reading a book or attending a seminar. You have lived this and the fruit is now evident, which helps me to believe that it can be done and work!


Deanna said...

Blessings to you always!

Thandi said...

I wish you had met and spoken to my mom. The only time she has ever said anything positive about me is in comparison with someone else.I have such negative self-esteem, if there's such a word.And because we still talk, it comes and goes...Oh well.At least we will break that pattern by God's grace.

Sharon said...

This is a beautiful song and truth! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to speak life into our kids. No matter how old they are I know that our words as mothers are still powerful.-Sharon

Lorrie said...

I know you're still busy with end of school stuff...but I've got an award for you over at my blog....because I think urrrr awesummm!

Linda said...

Congratulations on the graduation! :D

And yes.. you're absolutely right on the subject! It hurts me as well, when someone decides to share such personal and embarassing details of their kids.. as if they weren't real people or something.. :S

Greetings from the netherlands!

SILVIA said...

loved - this - post, do you know got watery eyes from it..thank you for posting this i need to be reminded sometimes how lucky and blessed we are to have our daughter, i certainly will try my best everyday to encourage her to be best the she can be and to be a leader not a follower...awesome post Sandra...have a great weekend girl and thanks for stopping by my blog....xx


Deanna said...

God Bless you, Sandra!
I attended a virtual Tea Party today and had such a fun time and wanted to extend an invitation to you to join me on my porch for a spot of tea and conversation.
Hope you'll come on by and tell me how you're doing.

Lena said...

Wow! I think this is the secret to powerful parenting... Thank you so much for opening my eyes to speak life to my children... God bless you!