Monday, June 7, 2010

The Hype About Kissing

Some have asked us, "What's the big deal with kissing? Why such restrictions put on young adults who are over the age of 18? They are engaged right, so it is okay huh?"

Since the beginning of Ryan and Ruthie's courtship, Don made it perfectly clear to Ryan that he can not touch his daughter nor kiss her until after they said I do. Ryan gave his word and kept his promise to Don.

When it became public knowledge that Ryan and Ruthie were waiting to kiss until after they said "I do," the question arose as to what's the big deal with kissing. There's nothing wrong with kissing. In fact, I love kissing and I'm all for it because it's a form of intimacy. Intimacy is something that should be shared between a husband and wife according to scripture.

As a young teen, I did my share of kissing and I'm not proud about it. Those kisses lead me down a path of destruction because it opened up a door that led to a room in my heart where only my husband was suppose to dwell. The results from kissing left me sad and frustrated. Sad because I so wanted to be cherished. Frustrated because I wasn't.

Was my daughter doomed to repeat the same mistakes I did? I wasn't sure at first. They say history has a way of repeating itself. I didn't want my daughter to make the same mistakes such as the ones I made. With all the Christian jargon about generation curses I didn't know what to believe. One thing I knew for sure is that the God I serve had redeemed me from a life of sin. With that redemption, the generation curses would only be passed down if I allowed it. I was not going to let that happen.

In Song of Solomon, the Shulammite woman reminds the Daughters of Jerusalem not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Kissing can and does arouse the sexual senses that we all have. We are kidding ourselves if we think that our children will not be aroused when kissing that young man or woman. Once those sensual desires are awakened, what's a young man or woman suppose to do? However they deal with it outside the marriage bed to bring satisfaction and release is sin.

As a mom, I've taken the lines from the Shulammite woman and remind my kids constantly not to arouse love prematurely. Many hours of dialog are spent in our home talking about purity and the rewards it brings.

I had an interesting conversation with Ruthie weeks before the wedding. I asked her if they've talked about the kiss that they will share at the altar on their wedding day. After she turned beet red, she said, "No we haven't talked about the kiss. We've decided not to talk about anything like that." That was music to my ears.

The picture above was taken right after the kiss.




25 comments:

So Blessed! said...

Sandra, this is a beautiful post and I agree. I have been thinking more and more about how I will approach this with my daughter and I love your approach. I am in prayer about it, (she's six) but I believe in beginning early and letting her grow in her faith to have a strong, unshakable foundation by her teen years.

Thank you for such amazing insight and for sharing you past and present, you are truly used by Our Father to confirm the things He has written on my heart.

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

I love that they waited and that picture says it all! True love is visible!

Well Watered Woman said...

You know I totally love this!

Becca said...

Amen! Beautiful post:)

Rachelle said...

I love this Sandra, You are such an encouragement to others (especially me) Love you

Becoming Abigail said...

So beautiful!

Mrs.Rabe said...

Thank you for sharing this. We agree with this stand!

The photo is awesome!

Domestically Inclined said...

God's ways are Awesome!

~Lisi P. said...

Thanks for sharing!!!

Miss Jocelyn Tzahala said...

This was excellent!!! I love how you put everything together. I would love to feature this article on Feelin' Feminine in one of our Challenging Femininity issues!

Also, in Ancient Roman times kissing was a sign of 'sealing the deal', which I thought was interesting.

Love Abounds At Home said...

Thanks for all the encouraging comments :)
Miss Jocelyn, i would be delighted if you used this article on Feelin' Feminine.

joyfulwifeandmama said...

That is my husband's and my testimony. We're going on 11 years strong, by God's grace! Thank you, now we have another example to share with our sons and daughter.

God's blessings to Ryan and Ruthie.

Miss Jocelyn Tzahala said...

Thank you!

Michelle M. said...

What a beautiful photo! You can see the incredible joy of that moment.

Simple Christian Homemaker said...

That's one beautiful pic.!!! I agree with you 100%!

P/S- thanks for the stay at home encouragement!

Anonymous said...

Well said Missionary! May God continue to give you the holy boldness you need to speak out. Love you and your blog. Janelle

SimpleChristianHomemaker II said...

Wow what and absolutely beautiful picture. You can tell that the wait was worth it. Also thank you so much by giving me that scripture. Oh yeah my daughters are going to read that!!!

applecidermama said...

This made me cry. And, sharing that picture really brought your words home. THANK YOU--to you AND Don--for your diligence in protecting your daughter and raising her God's way.

A Country Helpmeet said...

Oh what a wonderful post Sister Sandra! I loved it. We are teaching our 6yr old about Courtship already.

HUGS!

Deanna said...

Dear One, May God bless you all.
Your daughter is truly lovely.
d

Kristen Lisemby Lee said...

Amen!! My husband and I saved our first kiss for our wedding day as well. And it...was...beautiful!! :) Blessings!

Arielle said...

That is definitely a beautiful moment captured. Love and joy.

no spring chicken said...

Amen! My husband also received a promise from our son in law when he was courting our daughter. It's a very big deal. Once you open the floodgates it's harder to stop the torrent! Praise God for His truths, and for the young people who are willing to trust them...

Blessings, Debbie

ToKnowHim said...

Of my husband's and my four blessings from God, 2 are teenagers. I was just having this conversation the other day with my daughters (ages 15 and 10). I am so thankful to see that there are women (and men) who won't compromise, and who will wait for God's best. I used the "guardrail" analogy: I told my girls that dating is a winding road along a steep mountain. God put up guardrails for their protection, and to keep them on the path of His best for them. Sure, they could step over the guardrails if they wanted to, but the steep hills and rocks are waiting on the other side, and they would most likely experience much pain. By staying on the path that God has laid out for them, my girls have a much greater chance at the joy God promises between husbands and wives. I'm happy to say that my daughters really seemed to listen, and they said my example made sense. Thank you for so eloquently demonstrating what a wife, mother, and woman of God should be. I'm really going to enjoy reading your blog.

Katie said...

Thank you posting this!! I admire your daughter so so much. I was such an "independent" teenager and these ideas were so silly to me then, but 10 years of marriage and 4 daughters later...well, I certainly see things differently! Thank you for an example that engaged couples really can do things God's way. We have great hope for our daughters! =)