Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Living the S.I.L.K. Lifestyle in a D.I.N.K. Society

I had no idea until Monday afternoon that my newlywed children were living the lifestyle desired by many. It's the D.I.N.K. lifestyle. I had no idea that this lifestyle had a name until a dear friend mentioned it. I've known numerous couples over the years that lived this lifestyle, but I've never been one to experience it. D.I.N.K. is an acronym for Dual Income No Kids.

If I can be honest here, I'm not sure if I can talk about a subject that I'm not familiar with. Although there was a time when we were a dual income family with kids. Lots of kids according to what was told to us. We may not have been a D.I.N.K. couple, but I know first hand the trap of a dual income family.

During the early years of my marriage I was busy at home bringing children into this world, being a happy homemaker and wife. I thought we were doing great. Financially it was tough. I didn't realize it at the time until someone else told me that I was denying my children a "good life" because we couldn't afford to go on vacation or buy the latest clothes or gadgets. I was torn when someone felt that I needed to face reality and go out and help my husband with the bills.

So I started working for the school district and eventually got a job at the same school my children were attending. From the outside it looked as though I had the "perfect" job. When I left in the morning my children were in tow with me. It was nice to see my children during the day, but home was always on my mind.

As the years went by I met another mom who worked at the same school as myself. Her children attended there as well. During recess time, her and I would have playground duty. One day we started talking about missing being at home. From that day on we would stand on the playground and daydream about being home. The job of watching other people's children was the last thing on our minds. I know it's sad, but true. My heart was toward home, not playground duty.

That school year Don and I talked about me quitting and coming home with the kids. We had already started homeschooling one of our children because he was struggling with Math and English. Don was home during the day while I was working. He worked nights. He would teach a few subjects and I would teach the rest when I got home.

I remember one night while trying to cook dinner, help my son finish his English and helping the other kids with their homework, I snapped. It wasn't the sound of the sweet snap, crackle and pop that my children heard coming from their cereal bowls earlier that morning. It was a hurling cry from the depths within me. I cried out and said, "I can't do this anymore!" Call me a whimp, but I wasn't equipped to do it all. I'm not every woman. It's not all in me.

When Don got home that night he made a final decision that I would finish out the school year and come home again. I was so relieved to know that I wouldn't be coming home solo, but my children will be in tow.

The following weekend we sat at the kitchen table trying to work some kind of magic with numbers. I looked at Don and told him these numbers don't lie there's no way we can pull this off. He reminded me of the time when the children were younger and all the provisions that God made for us. Thus, we decided to listen to the Nike commercial and just do it!

Although I've never lived the D.I.N.K. lifestyle, I'm living a S.I.L.K. lifestyle. I love it and it feels good. We have chosen a S.I.L.K. lifestyle and our children benefit greatly from it. The rewards are not instant. Now that some of our children are young adults, the rewards are plenty when the words "thank you" flow from their lips. I wouldn't trade this S.I.L.K. lifestyle for anything. That's a lifestyle of Single Income Lots of Kids.

I can testify that we have never gone hungry. We have always had a roof ever our head. We stood back then and are still standing on God's word today.

"I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread." ~Psalms 37:25


Tonya said...

whew. preach. amen.

Angie said...

so many times over the years I have had the same struggles. People whispering the same things in our ears of the injustices that we are committing against our children because all the things they don't have. What we have come to see the injustice is not being home, not giving them as much of Christ while they are young.

I am grateful for a husband that desired me to be home. I am grateful for God never ending provisions.
happily a SILK

Mrs.Rabe said...

We are S.I.L.K.'s too! Happily so, in fact.

I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Deanna said...

Super Post!!!!!

Thandi said...

Lord, thank you for this post.An African single income with 2 kids..Might as well be 'lots of kids.' And S.I.T.K doesn't work so can I 'steal' the S.I.L.K acronym?We've also ehard the same mutterings.My husband was actualyl telling me that it's a pity I'll be done with my degree this year because the pressure will be even greater for me to 'help my husband' as my mamma keeps saying. Doesn't help that we are truly in trouble-my husband's job hasn't paid him his full salary.It's even more ammunition for the mutterings to become shouts.But we won't listen. God will hear our prayers. He just has to.Thank you for sharing this very encouraging post.We lived a DINK lifestyle in England.And nothing compares to this one!

SimpleChristianHomemaker II said...

Wow that was a fabulous post. You hit the heart girl with that one.Keep up the great post I can't wait to read the next!

Anonymous said...

Dear one, what an annointed post! May God bless your newly married babies and may God continue to expand your influence for you are a cherished wonman of God :)

Simple Christian Homemaker said...

Oh my goodness was this post ever so timely! I am going through this right now. LOTS of people around me are trying to influence me to join the workforce because of the "opportunities" my kids miss out on. Raising our kids is a struggle financially, but thank God for His provision. We have the things that we NEED. Thank you, Sandra. This post was so very encouraging.

Mrs. Lindblom said...

I found your blog from LAF and am very much enjoying your articles, especially this one! I, too, am living the SILK lifestyle and have found it most beneficial for everyone involved. :)

Lorrie said...

I've lived the D.I.N.K. (6 figure income) and knew what it meant and used it frequently. It's a lifestyle absorbed in me...me... and more me. It's a lifestyle that squanders resources and money since we're going after a bigger home, bigger car, bigger purse. I'm sorry...as an adult, if you don't have God given reality checks...the DINK lifestyle is quite hallow.

On the other end I'm not a SAHM and living in southern california with a mortgage, 3 boys and on a teacher's salary. Days are hard, months are short of money and I cut corners everywhere. It's fulfilling, gratifying and God sees to it I'm never bored or lonely! I love my life.

I didn't say that when I was a DINK

shay said...

I followed you over here from your article at LAF. I wanted to thank you for this. It's so encouraging. We have also chosen the life of a SILK. (well I only have 4 so is that lots?)

It grieves me to see the pressure our society puts on young couples and young mothers. We have such a high standard of what we "need" that it's impossible to reach it with one income.
I feel I need to testify to Gods goodness to us! I've never worked outside my home. My hubby runs his own biz and we homeschool 4 kids. AND we always have exactly what we need! (but not always what we want which is in fact it's own kind of blessing)
Thank you so much for this timely encouragement!

Michelle M. said...

I read your post on Beautiful Womanhood and wanted to hop over to your blog to say hi. So... Hi! I really enjoyed your post on being a SILK family. We are the same and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sisters Of Honor said...

What a wonderful post!!! I can relate all too well. I think it is very important that you mentioned you and your husband decided. That is key!!! Thank you for sharing. It indeed has been a blessing.