Changing of the Season

As I look through the lace curtains that cover the big sliding glass door, I can see the huge pile of wood that my husband will cut this weekend to help keep us warm during the months to come. Today is the official start of the Autumn season. I am almost prepared.

For the first time in my life, I visited an Amish community this Summer. I was one happy girl. It has always been my dream to visit such a community. That is one thing that I can cross off my bucket list. While there, I stocked up on spices for the Fall baking season.

What I wasn't prepared for was the mixed emotions that this season brought upon me. It hit me one day that this will be the last Autumn season that I will began a new homeschool year. Our youngest daughter is a Senior in highschool.

Although I long for time to stop just for a moment so that I can cherish my baby girl just a little longer; however, I know that is not possible. So, here I sit gazing out the window preparing my heart for the changing of the season while reminding myself to make the most of each moment.

I say to my heart...
"Be still. Fret not. The changing of the season will bring crisp cool air and dead leaves to the ground, but you, my heart, will stay warm and enjoy the abundant life promised from my Savior."

Has It Been That Long?

Has it been that long since I last posted a blog? Yes it has. I've been doing life and enjoying it to the fullest. So much has changed since I last blogged. One thing that hasn't changed is love. Especially, love that comes from family.

Autumn season of 2013 was amazing here on the home front. Our youngest son finished his time overseas serving at his first duty. I still can't believe at the young age of 18 he was on a plane to South Korea for a year serving his country. A year! A year without seeing him sitting across the dinner table or cutting slivers of cake until it was all gone. He came back to the states in November. During his time here, he spoiled us! All of us. Now he is stationed far from home, but at least he is in America.

Some things never change. Our sons still want to wrestle Dad when they come home.

Just when we thought things were starting to settle, our daughter in-love went into labor. It was a long labor. That labor of love produced our third grandbaby. I applaud my son's bride. She went through labor and delivery without my son. My son was deployed during the time of his baby's birth. Thanks to technology, he was able to witness the his first child being born. I really appreciate them so much. They are really good about sending videos and photos of the baby.

Photo Courtesy of Port City Photography

Our two other grandbabies are growing up so fast. They are doing wonderful. The oldest, he's so polite and loves taking care of his little brother. The youngest is now wearing glasses. I miss the so much! It's been one year and two months since I've seen them. I'm hoping to see them soon.

Each day, I still hang out at the kitchen table with her...I love homeschooling her. She's so much fun to hang out with. She's getting ready for track season that starts next week. She got a spot on the Girls Varsity Cross Country team. The team went to state and came in fourth place.

In the midst of things, I've managed to lose 30 pounds! I feel great. I've dropped four dress sizes. On Valentine's Day, I revealed myself in a little back dress. I was nervous at first, but it fit. We had a blast at the Sweetheart Banquet.

A long time ago, an older woman gave me some valuable advice. She encouraged me to never let the spark go out of my marriage. So glad I listened. We are more in love today than we were yesterday. In a matter of years, our nest will be empty...Our love for each other will always be full.

2013 Reading List & 2012 Short Recep

A new year is upon us. I breathe a sigh of relief and embrace this new year. Last year has earned the title "The Year of Transitions". Now that graduations are over and our children are settled at their new duty stations, things are so different here on the home front. There's just the three of us. Although things have changed dramatically around here, my duties remain the same.

My heart is still centered around my home. I spend my mornings and afternoons homeschooling a 14 year old teenager that has a great attitude about life. She's funny. She's smart. Evenings are spent together as a family. My husband is still a solid rock in my life. We laugh. We play together. We love each other.


As I was gathering my reading list for this year, I really didn't know where to start or what to read. I'm in a new season on this path we call life. It's a bitter-sweet season. I miss my young adult children, but it's beautiful watching my eagles spread their wings as they soar across the beautiful blue sky. They've transitioned from my lap only to leave their fingerprints stamped on my heart.

I'm a wife. I'm a mother. I'm a grandmother. I'm a homeschooling mom. I'm a homemaker. I'm an encourager and friend. With that being said, here's my reading list of 2013. These books reflect some aspect of whom I am, most important, I'm His daughter.

Here are the titles and authors:

"Fascinating Womanhood" by: Helen Andelin
"The Beauty of Modesty" by: David and Diane Vaughan

"Lies Women Believe" by: Nancy Leigh DeMoss

"Feminine Appeal" by: Carolyn Mahaney

"Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by: Joanna Weaver

"A Virtuous Woman" by: Ruth Mast

"Woman You're a Kingmaker" by: Dr. Wellington Boone

"Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman" by: Anne Ortlund

"Liberated Through Submission" by P.B. Wilson

"Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" by Jennie Chancey & Stacy McDonald

"The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

"The True Woman" by: Susan Hunt

"Encouraging One Another" by: Women of Faith

"The Many Sides of a Woman's Heart" by: Brenda Hunter

"Woman to Woman: Life Principles From Titus 2" by: Barbara Henry

Magazines:

Keepers at Home

Crowned With Silver

Above Rubies

Here's a sneak peek at what I've been doing since my last blogpost:

Taken moments after I arrived.

My first time meeting this little guy.

We picked up where we left off almost a year ago.

As you can see, I got to visit my grandbabies! I love being their Mema

My youngest daughter got to travel with me. It was great spending time with both my girls.

Youngest son graduated from Army OSUT. I'm a proud Army mom. Hooah!

One of my soldiers got to come home for Christmas. I was one happy Army mom :)

Still keeping the flames alive ;)

Until next time,

Sandra

*Disclaimer: Although these books and magazines are good and have practical tools that you can apply to your life, in no means do they replace the Bible. Also, I'm not endorsing a book and/or authors(s), I'm just sharing what I'm reading this year. Please use your own discretion when reading the books listed above or any book for that matter.

Unashamed: A Miscarriage Survivor's Story

October 15th is National Remembrance Day for Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss.

This is my daughter's story.

August 26th was a day that changed me. I have heard it said that people don't change overnight. Well, I beg to differ. All it takes is one significant event to make someone wake up the next day a different person. For me, the event was a miscarriage.

This pregnancy was completely unplanned and unexpected. My husband and I weren't trying to get pregnant, especially since we had just moved across the country and we had our second child just a few months prior. Yet it seems that God has made us an EXTREMELY fertile couple, despite our efforts to "wait a few years" before having another baby. Just two months after giving birth, I conceived again. 

Over the course of the next two months, my husband and I would casually joke about my daily cravings for slushes and other iced drinks, and the way I would cry at the drop of a hat (both were things that happened while pregnant with each of our sons). Even when I was unable to lose weight and had a few occasions of nausea, we attributed it to the stress of the move and getting the house in order. I had spotting here and there, which I assumed were light periods. I had even taken pregnancy tests that came back negative twice.

Then one day I was working out and started to get a really sharp pain in my lower abdomen. I brushed it off, thinking it was just a cramp and would go away. But it didn't. I started bleeding as well, and thought it was my cycle coming around. This continued for two days. I was in the kitchen that late afternoon on August 26th, getting ready to make grilled cheese, when I felt a sharp pain. I stopped what I was doing and bent over in pain. Something that felt like a huge clot slipped out, and I rushed into the bathroom.

There on my pad was what I was later told was the amniotic sac. I called for my husband and he was worried, so I sent a picture of it to my mom. She called me almost immediately, telling me I needed to go to the hospital asap. Blood and clots were pouring into the toilet so fast I wasn't able to catch anymore pieces of the tissue that was coming out. (After an ultrasound the next day, it would be confirmed that the baby had already slipped out as well, most likely while I was sitting in the bathroom.)

The trip to the emergency room and waiting for an explanation from the doctor took forever. Was this a bad period? Was this lining from my uterus that came out? Surely I wasn't pregnant. I just took a test the other day, and it came back negative. All of these things rushed through my head for hours.

The doctor finally rushed in with a nurse, and they were moving so fast I didn't know what was happening. Next thing I knew, I was in stirrups and heard the worst news of my life. "It seems that you had a miscarriage. You were pregnant, and what you brought in was in fact the amniotic sac. I am so sorry." According to my last cycle the baby was almost 10 weeks old.

I felt like the world had stopped and I was just there. The doctor kept talking, but all I could do was lay my head back down and stare at the ceiling. How? Why? I had two babies already, why didn't this one make it? Why didn't I know? How did we miss the signs? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

The car ride home was silent. Neither me nor my husband could find anything to say. We pulled into the driveway, and the shock wore off. A tidal wave of emotions hit me and I sobbed uncontrollably in his arms. No physical pain in the world could have hurt as much as my heart did in that moment. The only thing I could say was "Our baby died. Our baby died inside of me, and I didn't even know."

The days that followed kind of meshed together now that I look back. I didn't know one day from the next. I cried a lot, felt a sadness I can't explain. I couldn't go on Facebook without sobbing at the ultrasound pictures various friends were putting up. I held my sons around the clock, and it made me sad knowing I wouldn't get to see that baby grow up. My husband would hold me at night while I cried in my sleep.

People from our church brought meals and prayed with us. I started to develop a friendship with a woman who had a miscarriage many years ago. While it obviously still made her sad when she talked about it, seeing her being able to work through it inspired me. Losing a child isn't something you can just get over, but it does get better with time.

The next six weeks was a roller-coaster of emotions. Some days would be really good. I would think about it and not break out into tears. The next I couldn't stop crying. I was okay one moment, and having a breakdown the next.

My faith in God helped me, and I knew He was there. But if I can be completely honest, I struggled. I wondered why God would give us this baby and not let us keep it. I knew that there was a reason, and even though I couldn't see it, God had a plan for it all. I just wanted to know what that plan was so that things could start making sense. I wanted to be filled with joy again, not random moments of happiness. I received it through God's Word a week ago.

A woman that I admire greatly suggested I look for a verse that led me to Isaiah 54. After reading just the first few verses, I felt what I can only explain as a spiritual awakening.

Isaiah 54:1-7 NLT

“Sing, O childless woman,

you who have never given birth!

Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem,

you who have never been in labor.

For the desolate woman now has more children

than the woman who lives with her husband,”

says the LORD. “Enlarge your house; build an addition.

Spread out your home, and spare no expense! 

For you will soon be bursting at the seams.

Your descendants will occupy other nations

and resettle the ruined cities. 

“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.

Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.

You will no longer remember the shame of your youth

and the sorrows of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband;

the LORD of Heaven’s Armies is his name!

He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,

the God of all the earth. For the LORD has called you back from your grief—

as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,”

says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you,

but with great compassion I will take you back.

While I am not barren, my loss of a child is still a loss. And for that reason I believe this passage of Scripture applies me and every woman out there that has ever experienced any kind of pregnancy or infant loss.

I have spoken to friends who have also lost a baby, and most have experienced some level of distance from God. That is not to say turning our backs on Him, or discontinued belief in Him. Not at all. Its more like the latter part of the passage from Isaiah, feeling abandoned. Knowing that God is still God and He loves you just the same, but wondering where He is in the midst of this great heartache.

Isaiah 54 encourages us to sing to the Lord. To rejoice, because the best is yet to come. Out of the hurt and the pain, God will give us joy and expand our territory. The sorrow is only temporary. God can and will bring us to a place of joy in Him, and with that the promise of descendants. This could mean having children of our own, and it could also mean for some to take in those without motherly figures and be that mother to them. Both are just as much a blessing as the other.

Another thing this passage points out is an end to the shame and fear. 1 in 4 women experience some kind of pregnancy or infant loss, but few talk about it publicly. Our culture doesn't embrace the importance of the lives of the unborn, and therefore can downplay the loss of one. 

But we see in Jeremiah 1:5 that God values every single unborn life:

  

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

Before you were born I set you apart

and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

 David knew this as well when he wrote Psalm 139:13:

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and 

knit me together in my mother’s womb."

Whether you got to hold your baby or never felt a single kick, your loss is important and have every right to talk about it openly. Doing so can help you deal with it better, and you may surprised at how many other women you know that have been down that road as well.

When I came out with the news of the miscarriage, it was amazing the number of people who not only encouraged us, but also related. I got a number of messages from friends who never felt like they could tell anyone about their miscarriages until they saw my posts. Prior to my loss, I couldn't completely understand what other women were going through. I could sympathize, but I didn't grasp what they were feeling.

Having gone through this, I have finally come to a place where I am starting to understand why God allowed this to happen to me. It wasn't a punishment. It wasn't that He didn't love me or think me fit to be a mom. My baby could have had unforeseen health problems, and God saw it would be better to bring them home to Him rather than suffer here on earth. My body could have not been strong enough to take another pregnancy so soon. There are many possibilities, all of which make sense.

In the bigger picture, I know that I was allowed to go through this so that I can relate to and help other women who experience the loss of their child. I am blessed to have a caring family and network of friends to support and encourage me, and faith in Jesus to keep me strong when I am weak. But not every woman has that. I want to use my on-going journey as a tool to reach those women, to show them that it is okay to allow yourself to feel and to grieve. It is okay to talk about it.

And if you are searching for peace and love and cannot find either, maybe its time you give God a chance. You will be amazed at how He can fill in the void, and heal your heart. I am not saying everything will be perfect, because it wont. But God's love is sufficient for you. The peace He gives is greater than any form of meditation or therapeutic activity out there. Its real and tangible and it lasts.

August 26th was a day that changed me. I am not the same woman I was before, and I will never be that woman again. But who I am is a miscarriage survivor. I am a woman unashamed of what I have been through. A woman who, through the love of God, overcame the sorrow and is moving forward. I will never forget my baby, and miss them every single day. I am still on my journey, and I hope through my story more women break the silence and shake off the fear of speaking out with theirs.

My son in-love and daughter are proud parents of two active boys. They first met at the age of 13. They were reunited at the age of 19 via Facebook. They married a year later. Currently, they have two active boys that keeps momma busy throughout the day while daddy serves our country in the United States Air Force.

Are You Too Busy For Timothy?

I've been thinking about all the women in the Bible who had a Godly influence on their children. I want to be one of those mothers who's influence on her children would be carried out for generations to come. I want my children to tell my grandchildren and great grandchildren stories about me. Most of all, I want the generations that follow me, follow the same faith I have in God.

The only way I know to make sure that it happens is by spending time with my children. 

Next year, we will have two more children leaving the nest. Our sons, Trae and Benjamin, will be joining the military. I keep having these episodes that I've named "mommy moments." It's when something strikes that sensitive string that reminds me that my sons are leaving home within 6 months apart.

Am I ready for them to leave?

The real question is are they ready?

The answer to both questions are yes and yes.....Well, kinda yes and no to the first one.

I was reading about Timothy this morning. That's when that string was struck and I started to have a "mommy moment." Mommy moments are when I cry and blubber words that need an interpreter. I laugh too during those moments because I'm so proud of my sons.

I Timothy 1:5 says, "When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also."

Here's Timothy, a young man whom the Apostle Paul had great confidence in, who's faith was passed down through his grandmother and mother. Paul didn't get through the first chapter of the first book of Timothy without acknowledging the faith that was passed on to Timothy.

How did Lois and Eunice pass faith on to Timothy? I think it's spelled t-i-m-e, time. It takes time to impart faith into our children. This precious time that I have with my sons before they leave the nest is time that I will use wisely.

Mothers should never had to apologize to anyone when they say no to others so that their time can be spent on their Timothy. Your Timothy is more important than the women's meeting at church. Your Timothy is more important then the to-do list from your pastor. Your Timothy is more important than the job, your friends, your neighbors, etc.

Let us not be to busy for our Timothy. He may be the next person we read about in the history books. Your name will be there also, just like Lois and Eunice's were.

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Blessings on the hand of women!
Angels guard its strength and grace,
In the palace, cottage, hovel,
Oh, no matter where the place;
Would that never storms assailed it,
Rainbows ever gently curled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy's the tender fountain,
Power may with beauty flow,
Mother's first to guide the streamlets,
From them souls unresting grow—
Grow on for the good or evil,
Sunshine streamed or evil hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission
Here upon our natal sod!
Keep, oh, keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of God!
All true trophies of the ages
Are from mother-love impearled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!
Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,
And the sacred song is mingled
With the worship in the sky—
Mingles where no tempest darkens,
Rainbows evermore are hurled;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.

By: William Ross Wallace

 William Ross Wallace, the author of this poem, was born in 1819. He passed away in 1881.

I have always wondered where that saying, "the hand that rocks the candle is the hand that rules the world" came from. Now I know. 

Life Through My Eyes

I'm constantly having those proud mommy moments. Two of my sons directed this short film. It's based on a true story.

Never judge someone by what you see. You never know what the story is behind that person's life. There's always a story. My family has a story. This true story could have been based on my family. There was a time when we felt hopeless. There was a time when we were almost homeless.

Better Than Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls

This summer I find myself enjoying the company of my youngest child who will officially be a teenager soon. Earlier today the children and I were talking about the morning that Sarah and my husband made cinnamon rolls. I remember that day vividly. The cinnamon rolls were about an inch wide and 2 inches high. Sarah informed me that it was my husband who didn't listen to her and that's why the cinnamon rolls came out the way they did.

Though it's true the cinnamon rolls didn't turn out the way she had hoped that day, but she will never forget the time spent with her father. It's all about making memories that will last a lifetime. Today, I made memories with Sarah. We made some "Better Than Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls."

Here's the recipe we used: Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls.
Since we are not fans of cream cheese frosting, we did this one:

• Vanilla Frosting
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon butter, melted
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• milk or cream (2 to 4 tablespoons)

 Getting things ready.

 Rolling out the dough.

Spreading the butter.

Spreading the brown sugar & cinnamon.

Rolling up the dough. (At this point, it smells good and it's not in the oven yet)

 All rolled up and ready to be cut.

Sarah is doing a great job.

Ready for the oven.

 Making the frosting while the cinnamon rolls are in the oven.
(Now it smells even better in my home. "Home Sweet Home")

All done and ready for frosting.

(Ooops! I had to step away because of the drool.)

 Ready for my family to enjoy.

Glimpse of Our Family

Each month I try to learn something new. This month I learned how to do videos. I was so proud of myself. My husband raved about my video so much that I wanted the world to see it. There's nothing like a man who thinks you're the best at everything you do :)

Jill - Maternity Apron Give Away Winner

Back in November I had a maternity apron give away. You can go here to read about it. I just received an email from the beautiful mother Jill. She's wearing the apron. She gave me permission to share with my blogger readers.

Here's the wonderful email that I received!

Hello Sandra!

I was having a rather rough day a while ago (after not being able to sleep for the past week due to 'practice contractions'...so much fun!) and when I went to my mail box I found a beautiful apron inside!!!  Thank you so much!  It's lovely and I really appreciate it as I'm doing a massive baking spree on the weekend in order to get ready for baby (currently 34 weeks and the midwives think I'll go early!) and my current apron doesn't fit at all anymore. It's soooooo comfortable too!  I have to say, I love the length as well.  I'm very tall (6'0") and right now I can't stand anything near the tops of my legs and this skims beautifully. 

Thank you so much for your generosity, it's very much appreciated.  I plan on getting some action shots for you this weekend but please accept this one in the mean time of me at my Mum's house.

Hope all is well with your grandbaby-to-come!

Jill


*Let us remember to pray for Jill during this time as she prepares for her new blessing!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, 

the fruit of the womb is a reward."

-Psalm 127:3

I'm Not Half Married

Many times I've conversed with other people about marriage. It's a subject that I'm passionate about and talk about it often. Throughout these conversations, I've often hear others describe their marriage as a 50/50 partnership. Which means each person give 50% to the marriage relationship.

I didn't know you could be half married. 

I always thought when you got married, you gave 100% of yourself. 

I wonder what would my marriage look like if I only gave 50% of myself.

By choice, I'm the primary cook in our home. I pour so much of myself into preparing delicious meals. My family waits with anticipation to taste the latest recipe that I've conjured up. But what would happen if I decided to give just 50% of myself into meal preparation? We wouldn't have the meal time around the table that we have come to enjoy as a family.

By choice, I freely give of myself to please my husband. My goal is to bring him satisfaction. In order to reach that goal, I can't stop half way and hope that a touchdown is scored.

By choice, we've decided that I would be home with the children and my husband would go out and work. Mothering is a full time job. When my babies were younger, I couldn't just nurse them half the time they needed to be nursed. Now that they are older, and need me so much more, I can't just be here for them 50% of the time that they need me.  Where or who would they turn to? The world, their peers, a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Not if I can help it!

My husband and I have a great marriage. We decided from the very beginning that we would each give 100% of ourselves to this marriage union. Giving 100% has proven to be successful for us. After 5 children, we still act like newlyweds. Not a day goes by without an "I love you." Flirting with each other is the norm in our home. It wouldn't be that way for us if we decided to have a 50/50 relationship.

 

I'm giving 100% of myself. Are you?

Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

* I must confess something here. There is one area where it seems that I'm only giving 50%. That's my laundry. My goal today is to give 75% of myself to the laundry! I will accomplish that if I get all the clothes washed today.

The White Shower Curtain Liner: Did it really have to go down like that?

In my quest to try and conserve on energy, I came up with a brilliant plan that we've been implementing. Since no one lives in the bathroom, we've been keeping the door closed because that room doesn't need to be heated. If you're familiar with keeping a room that's wet in closed quarters, we know what happens. Mold!

My plan has been a success in keeping the energy bill low. I wish I could say that for the mold. I didn't make it clear to the children that the fan needs to run while taking a shower and leave the door open for a bit afterward. At least until you can see the mirror.

These are not my curtains.

I have these pretty lace shower curtains that I've had since my husband and I were married. I take pride in caring for them. I love the ecru color because it's soft on the eyes and gives the decor a more homey feel.

The other day, my son mentioned that the liner needs to be replaced. He said he would pick up one while he was out. He took his little sister with him because he had a few stops to make. I'm thankful that he enjoys having his younger siblings tag along with him.

I was so excited. Not because he was picking up a new liner, but because he was driving by a place that sells my favorite drink. He makes it a habit to pick up his momma a special drink every time he passes this place on his way home. I walked him to the door and squealed about how much I would enjoy this drink. He asked if I had a coupon. I didn't and checked online. No new coupons that day. He kissed him momma goodbye as always.....

Three hours later they returned home. When I heard his key turn the doorknob, he entered. Alas, no drink in his hand, but a shower curtain liner.

My face must have shown disappointment. I'm still working on having a poker face and not letting my feelings show. Smiling for me is the norm. When I'm not, something may be wrong. I must confess though, it's very hard for me to hide my emotions. They are written on my face.

He asked what was wrong. Giving him the response that we women give, I replied, "Nothing!" Knowing all the while I was upset. Upset because he didn't give me wanted I wanted.....

He apologized and informed me that he was getting ready to replace the liner. I asked him what color did he get. When he said it was a white liner. I felt my nostrils flare. Trying to keep my cool. The key word is trying. I asked him when has he ever saw me put up a white liner in the bathroom. He stood there. Stunned because he didn't understand why I lashed out the way that I did. How was he suppose to know that my shower curtains are ecru and a white liner was borderline blasphemy in my eyes?!

Later that night he was saying goodnight. I responded in a kind, but somewhat cold way. Then it happened. The moment when I was convicted by my actions toward the son who needs the hugs and the "I love you" the most.

Had I withheld the things that he needed the most all because things didn't go my way and I didn't get what I wanted? Had my son spent his whole evening wondering why I was upset when he was really trying to help me? Did I withhold love and affection from my husband and children because I didn't get my "special drink" and the liner was white?

Did it really have to go down like that?

No it didn't, but it did.

How do I pick myself up after behaving the way I did?

No, I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs making my husband and the children scurry for cover. No, it was worse because it was subtle. The hugs weren't as tight and long as usual. The "I love you" didn't have the normal spunk. The daily talks with my sons on their latest business venture didn't occur because I was "busy." Busy with what? Sulking in my flesh that didn't get gratification that day.

That's when the Scriptures that I've quoted so many times came back to my remembrance:

"Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You." -Psalm 119:11

I had sinned in my heart. My heart wasn't pure at that moment. I allowed my wants to over ride the needs of my family. I had to run to the mercy seat of my Father. It's funny, when we sin, we want the mercy of God. When others sin, especially if we feel they sinned against us, we want judgment.

Just like the Psalmist David, I too, had to say, "Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." -Psalm 51:9-12

Seeking forgiveness and forgiveness was granted, I hugged and hugged my family.

As wives and mothers, how many times do we hold back our love, time and affection from our family because of how we feel? Or because they didn't perform or do what we asked or wanted? I wonder if we as women realize how much power and influence we have in our homes.

I want to encourage you to grab hold of this Scripture and apply it to your life and home:
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so." -Proverbs 3:27.

Oh, he didn't get my the drink because he simply forgot and got side tracked. Ha!

Words of a Homemaker

God, I want to do great things for you,

And speak to all the nations!

God replies:

That's well and good,

But for now

Fix your children's complications.

Lord, I want to straighten up the world,

Feed the hungry and fulfill someone's wishes!

God says:

Fine, but for the present,

You need to wash the dishes.

Lord, I want to preach, proclaim your name

And bring salvation to the earth!

God says:

Good! Then teach your children

And preach my name to those you've given birth.

At the end of the day,

I think of all I've done.

But as I look it seems,

I've accomplished nothing for the Son!

God I had no time to witness one on one,

I couldn't join my church group,

They said I missed out on lots of fun.

My household is the only thing

That managed to be cleaned,

My neighbor is the only one,

Besides my family I could feed.

The only ones I've read Your Word

Are those within my home.

God I've done so very little

And I feel so all alone!

God says:

I've seen the way you cleaned and cooked

And taught your kids My name.

Tomorrow morning at eight o' clock,

I'll watch you do the same.

The work you do at home,

Though no one really sees,

Is helping to raise little ones

To grow and worship me.

My ways are not your ways,

I don't expect you yet to see,

But the precepts that you've taught your children,

Will help others bow the knee.

Your children will reach out to others,

Your example in their mind.

They'll do great work for Me

And their children will respond in kind.

The hand that rules the world,

Also rocks the cradle.

Because of you, your children love Me,

All their hearts are stable.

Though your house is your domain,

Your tasks seem rather plain,

Your efforts will reach the multitudes,

Though from humble work they came.

I found this on the internet. I tried finding the author of this poem, but couldn't. Whomever wrote this poem, I want to say thank you. 

~~~~~

Yesterday after church, my children were talking about how much they appreciated us for not making them feel like a burden when they were younger. I sat there with a joyful heart as I looked at them while they were eating. The thoughts rapidly raced through my mind of the different times when they reached milestones in their lives.

How quickly they grow up. Cherish your children. Make a memory today. You can never have this day with them again. Watch them and keep them close. They may reach a milestone today. Don't miss it.

~~~~~

I hope and pray that all homemakers feel encouraged today and the days to come. Please know that what you do today, will be your reward tomorrow.