I am the Older Woman Now

Just hours after she entered the world, I quickly dashed over to get a glimpse of her beauty. My eyes locked upon her face. I couldn’t help but to stare at her. Her plump cheeks prompted me to pull her just a little closer in hopes of feeling her cheek next to mine. As her eyes slowly opened and quickly closed, I wondered how she would view the world as she grows. For a brief moment I pondered the thought of how the world would view her, since she was born into a family with multiple children.
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A Day Remembered

During a recent conversation I had with my oldest daughter, she shared with me that one of her greatest childhood memories happened when she was sitting in the back seat of our car. Her memory of that moment is so vivid in her mind. She remembered the big blue Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. It was the day she asked me to pray with her. She then asked me if I remembered.

I vaguely remember that day in the car. To me, each day was just an ordinary day of teaching and training my children. Little did I know that in the midst changing diapers, wiping noses and “playing school” as my children would say; those little ears were listening to me. I’m also certain on that day I had to remind myself that mothering my children was not in vain. Daily I had to remember that what I was doing had eternal significance and my children being little was only momentary.

As we continued to talk, she started to thank me for taking the time to pray with her that day. She even told me that I was a good mom. I wasn't sure how to receive those words. Wouldn't a good mom remember a day that was so life changing in her child's life?

It was then that a peace came over me. Whether I remember each moment in the lives of my children was not the matter at hand. What was important is being the mother that God has ordained me to be.

Too often we can be our worst critic when it comes to motherhood. We look at all the things that we perceive we are doing wrong that we lose focus on why we are doing them. Truly, if we understood that the One who called us to mother our children has so much grace, we would see ourselves differently. We would no longer feel defeated at the end of the day when our minds give us a play by play of everything that went wrong. Instead, we would see the goodness of the Lord who brought us through another day. After all, that ordinary day to you, may be an extraordinary life changing day to your child.

"And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children." Isaiah 54:13

Titus 2: The Older and the Younger Woman

Yesterday, I was saddened while reading an article that came through my newsfeed on Facebook. You may have read it as well. It was about a pregnant mother driving her SUV into the ocean with her three other children inside. Since I can't see your face, I'm not sure what your response was. Deep down inside though, I'm sure you felt sad just as I did.

Many questions flood our minds upon hearing news of this matter.

Did she not have anyone to turn too for help?
How could a mother do such a thing?
Why, oh why, would she have another child?

Did she love her children?

Was she a single mom?

We can sit for hours on end conversing about this mother. Yes, within minutes, we have her whole life figured out as to why she committed this act against herself and the children she was suppose to protect. We are good at that aren't we. However, are we good at reaching out and lending a hand to a mother such as this?

Older woman, if we opened our eyes wide enough and look around, we know this woman. This woman sits in the pew in front of us each Sunday morning. We recognized her in the grocery store as she juggles a cart full of groceries while keeping a toddler from wandering. This same woman walks down our street taking her children to the park hoping to get a minute to just take a deep breath. Since we know her, what have we done to assist her?

Older woman, you and I have a mandate from Scripture that we have repeatedly ignored. I shiver thinking about blaspheming Holy Spirit. That same fear resides in me at the thought of blaspheming the word of God. I implore you, to open your heart and read this passage of Scripture:

"The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, 

not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, 

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, 

to love their children, to be obedient to their own husbands, 

that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
~Titus 2:3-5

The reason why I ask that you open your heart as I write this is because I want you to see how we are blaspheming the word of God...

Blaspheme = to speak impiously or irreverently of (God or sacred things); to speak evil of; slander; abuse; irreverent behavior toward anything held sacred.

Older woman, that definition of blaspheme causes me to search the deepest core of my heart. I, for one, don't want to speak evil of those things that God calls sacred. Motherhood is sacred to Him. This passage encourages us to encourage the younger women to love their children. It does not tell us to roll our eyes upon hearing a mother expecting another child. Nor does it tell us to talk to her about the latest birth control method. It tells us to admonish the young women. To remind them to love their children. Whether that is two, four or ten children. Even if she decides to have one, we are to encourage her to love that child.

So older woman, let us rise up and be Titus 2 women. Let us lend a hand to the young mother and not gossip about her behind her back. Let us compliment that mother when we see her doing something positive in the area of motherhood. Let us smile at the mother in the grocery store. That young woman you see in church, hug her. Tell her that she is doing a great job with her children. Every now and then offer to watch the children while she goes to the grocery store alone. For some mothers, that is like a day at Disneyland. 

I don't know how I would have made it, had it not been for the older women in church encouraging me when my children were little. I hope to be an encouragement to younger women. Especially, my own daughters.

Mothers with younger children, reach out for help. Find an older woman to help you along the way. There are some of us who would love to come along side you and just be there. No strings attached, but just to love on you. Remember that whatever you, as a mother are facing today, it will get better tomorrow. Your children will grow up. They grow up fast. The day will come when they will be able to wipe their own noses and bottoms. They will not always spill milk or smear peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They will become teenagers. Do not dread the teen years. You will make it. You will come out alive and so will your children. Then they become young adults and they will rise up and call you blessed.

...To Love Their Children

Who doesn't love their children? I personally don't know any mother who does not love their children. However, I do know, we as mothers have different ways of showing our children that we love them.

"That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, 

to love their children." ~Titus 2:4

I sat there pondering why would a verse such as this would even appear in the pages of Scriptures. So, of course, I had to search within my own heart to see if there were any areas I needed to work on as a mother. God knows how much I love my children. I really like them as people. They are fun to be around. My days are often willed with laughter when they send me funny text messages. They are not perfect, but as their mother, neither am I. Perhaps that's the problem? I don't know...

I've met mothers who just can not forgive themselves for mistakes they have made training children during their younger years. Most of my children are adults now with the exception of one. I have mom friends who have children around the same age as mine. As mothers we talk about things that are happening with our children. Here's where I think the problem(s) occur when talking about our children. Especially our adult children.

We have the tendency to share too much of our children's personal business.

Hold up! Before you say, "I'm just sharing with my friends." 

Ask yourself this question, "Would my child(ren) want Jane Doe to know that this is going on in their lives?"

I'm not saying we can't share with our friends. I have a few friends that I have heart to heart talks with about some deep personal things that I would not want the world to know. Most of those things are about me. I also share things about my husband and my children. Those things are shared when I'm asking for help while exposing my own flaws as a wife and a mother. Those things are also shared privately.

When we as mothers share things publicly and in a large group settings about our children, is that loving them the way that they would interpret love? We all interpret love differently. To our children, especially our adult children, telling others about their privately struggles and weaknesses could result in hurt feelings and a sense of betrayal. Our intentions are to never hurt our children. That's why we need to take an honest look inward and ask ourselves why are we sharing this or that.

Moms give yourself a break. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be too hard on your children either. No I'm not saying to look the other way and nod "yes" to sin. What I am saying, be careful how much we share about our children with others. If you need help processing something that your children are going through, get with one, maybe two people and ask them to pray for you. After they are done praying for you, then ask them to pray with you as you pray for your children. Those are your children. You should be the one bombarding heaven on behalf of your children.

I want to encourage you to love your children like never before. With loving kindness, God drew us to Himself. Let's show our children that kind of love.

"Mommy Moment" Turned Into a "Mommy Meltdown"

If you happen to be at the local WalMart (yes I do shop there) last night I'm sure you saw that woman too. She was the one in the toy aisle crying her eyes out while hugging her son who towers ever her. The son, reassuring her that it was okay. The thirteen year old daughter wondering what is wrong with her mother; she's reached an all time high of flooded emotions.

I'm sure you're wondering what was wrong with her like the others who saw the drama unfold; and that woman saying over and over again, "He reminds me so much of you. Remember you used to love Woody too." I did not say anything negative about that woman. I related to her all to well. Why? That woman was me.

Here's what happened. My son (17, will be 18 in a few weeks), my daughter (13) and myself were at the local WalMart. We had a few hours to waste until it was time to pick my husband up from work. We took our time walking around the store. We laughed and told jokes as we strolled up and down each aisle.

Photographer: Kim Tortora

I love the feeling of being able to spend time with my children. I wanted to make this week extra special because this is my son's last Spring break at home. Then, there will only be one child left at home. My plans for this week included lots of junk food. Watching movies during the day while my husband was at work. I had this week planned to perfection. What I didn't plan for was this.....

While hanging out in the toy aisle, a father and his little son walked by. The little boy was no older than three years of age. He had a twenty dollar bill in his hand. His father following close behind as the little boy led him through the toy aisle. The little kept saying, "I have to find Woody."

It was at that moment that I looked at my son and said, "Remember you used to love Woody too." That is when it hit me. I started crying because I knew that in a matter of months, my son would be leaving to go and train to service our country.

He looked down at me and said, "It's okay mom. I'm gonna be okay."

I know he's gonna be okay. The problem is he grew up too fast. Where has time gone? It seems as if it was just yesterday that my husband and I were taking him down the toy aisle looking for a Woody for him.

It was at that moment when all the memories came to my mind and I didn't have a "Mommy Moment". I had a "Mommy Meltdown" and it wasn't a small meltdown either. So much has happened. So much is happening even right now. I wrote here about all the transitions taking place in our family.

I'm so glad my son is so compassionate. I love him so much. He brings so much joy into our lives. I still remember when he was a timid child who wouldn't dare confront anyone or anything. Now, he quickly stands for what he believes in. He's not ashamed to stand in front of a room full of peers and stick up for the unborn child. He's been labeled "The Born Diplomat" in speech and debate. He worked hard and recently went to state for speech and debate. He made us so proud.

I know that in height, he towers over my husband and I, but he will always be my baby.

I'm sure gonna miss him having fun with him when he leaves this summer.

I know he will proudly serve our country with the same passion that he serves our Lord. I'm so proud of him!

After I got myself together, my children and I walked by the seasonal items. There we saw a big bottle of bubbles. The tears started to well up again. I turned to my children and asked, "Remember when we used to play with bubbles? Wouldn't it be fun to play with bubbles again just for fun."

*Confession: I put the bubbles in the basket. After some time, I realized that I needed to put the bubbles back. So I did. That season in my life has passed. As hard as it seems to watch them grow up, they must grow up. As a mom, I can honestly say that my children have made me proud to be their mother. Each day I thank God for choosing me to mother these children here on earth. Mothers, cherish your children. Create memories to last a lifetime.

Are You Too Busy For Timothy?

I've been thinking about all the women in the Bible who had a Godly influence on their children. I want to be one of those mothers who's influence on her children would be carried out for generations to come. I want my children to tell my grandchildren and great grandchildren stories about me. Most of all, I want the generations that follow me, follow the same faith I have in God.

The only way I know to make sure that it happens is by spending time with my children. 

Next year, we will have two more children leaving the nest. Our sons, Trae and Benjamin, will be joining the military. I keep having these episodes that I've named "mommy moments." It's when something strikes that sensitive string that reminds me that my sons are leaving home within 6 months apart.

Am I ready for them to leave?

The real question is are they ready?

The answer to both questions are yes and yes.....Well, kinda yes and no to the first one.

I was reading about Timothy this morning. That's when that string was struck and I started to have a "mommy moment." Mommy moments are when I cry and blubber words that need an interpreter. I laugh too during those moments because I'm so proud of my sons.

I Timothy 1:5 says, "When I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also."

Here's Timothy, a young man whom the Apostle Paul had great confidence in, who's faith was passed down through his grandmother and mother. Paul didn't get through the first chapter of the first book of Timothy without acknowledging the faith that was passed on to Timothy.

How did Lois and Eunice pass faith on to Timothy? I think it's spelled t-i-m-e, time. It takes time to impart faith into our children. This precious time that I have with my sons before they leave the nest is time that I will use wisely.

Mothers should never had to apologize to anyone when they say no to others so that their time can be spent on their Timothy. Your Timothy is more important than the women's meeting at church. Your Timothy is more important then the to-do list from your pastor. Your Timothy is more important than the job, your friends, your neighbors, etc.

Let us not be to busy for our Timothy. He may be the next person we read about in the history books. Your name will be there also, just like Lois and Eunice's were.

Jill - Maternity Apron Give Away Winner

Back in November I had a maternity apron give away. You can go here to read about it. I just received an email from the beautiful mother Jill. She's wearing the apron. She gave me permission to share with my blogger readers.

Here's the wonderful email that I received!

Hello Sandra!

I was having a rather rough day a while ago (after not being able to sleep for the past week due to 'practice contractions'...so much fun!) and when I went to my mail box I found a beautiful apron inside!!!  Thank you so much!  It's lovely and I really appreciate it as I'm doing a massive baking spree on the weekend in order to get ready for baby (currently 34 weeks and the midwives think I'll go early!) and my current apron doesn't fit at all anymore. It's soooooo comfortable too!  I have to say, I love the length as well.  I'm very tall (6'0") and right now I can't stand anything near the tops of my legs and this skims beautifully. 

Thank you so much for your generosity, it's very much appreciated.  I plan on getting some action shots for you this weekend but please accept this one in the mean time of me at my Mum's house.

Hope all is well with your grandbaby-to-come!

Jill


*Let us remember to pray for Jill during this time as she prepares for her new blessing!

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, 

the fruit of the womb is a reward."

-Psalm 127:3

Thankful Thursday - New Life

As I look at my beautiful daughter with her "baby bump," I can't help but to be thankful for life.

As my way of saying "thank you" for giving life, I'm hosting a give away. I'm giving away a maternity apron handmade by myself.

If you or someone you know are expecting to bring new life into this world, please leave a comment telling me what life means to you. I will be using the pattern below. Also, you will have a choice of the two fabrics shown. Please feel free to share this give away with others who may want to enter. This give away will end one week from today on Thursday, November 18th. The winner will be announced early Friday morning here on my blog.

*****Update: My friend Tasha over at  He's Everything to Me is joining me in this give away by donating a burp cloth, bib and a nursing cover-up from her etsy shop .

*****Update #2: If you live in/around or plan on visiting the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, another dear friend has join this give away. Debbie at Farrar's Bistro is donating a complementary lunch for 2.

I Only Have One Shot

Some things in life I only get one shot to hit the target. There are many things that I can redo. I can redo the country decor in my home and bring it up to date with a more modern look. Many times I've looked in the mirror to redo my hair because I'm trying to cover up the wisdom that is starting to show through my black hair. One thing I can't redo is the watching my children grow up. I only have this time once.

Sarah is 12 today. She's at a fun age. It seems as though it was yesterday that I held her in my arms and nursed her for the first time. Those past years are gone and I can't redo them. Although sometimes I wished I could. Like the morning when she was 5 years old. I was impatient with her because she didn't read "Dick and Jane" the way she read it the previous day. Reflecting back on it, how silly of me. We live and we learn.

Don and I have spent countless hours late at night talking about our marriage and children. Guess you could say we communicate a lot and I believe that plays a huge part in our success here at home.

He was telling me about the peace he has at work because he knows I'm here taking care of home. We got into a conversation of me working outside the home. Only because I brought it up. It's the farthest thing from his mind. I'm not sure why I wanted to talk about it. Maybe because it's considered the normal thing for a woman to do once her kids are older. After all, my youngest is 12 and I've received enough hits from other woman that it may be time. Struggling to overcome my man pleasing and wanting to fit it, reality hit.

Reality hit when Don reminded me the passage of Scripture in Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

I was so blessed to hear how much he appreciates me and the things I do around here. Things that I thought go unnoticed. He reminded me how valuable I was in the home. He said without me, there would be no home. It would just be a place to live. I couldn't help but blush and bat my eyelashes. He praised me as a mother to his children and remarked that they are the way they are largely due to the sacrifices I've made.

At one point in my life I didn't think I could be a good mom. When I started having children, I was young. Real young. One thing I knew for sure, I wanted the hearts of my children to belong to Christ. Which meant I had to do my part.

God had given me the right arrow (His Word) to target the core of their hearts. It was up to me to do the right thing with the arrow. I only had one shot. I couldn't go back and redo this. I had to take time to study the hearts of each one of my children to make sure I didn't miss the target. I couldn't be wrapped up in myself. The time is at hand right now.

There are so many things trying to capture the hearts of my children. The things of the Earth have their arrows ready. Waiting patiently for their moment to target the hearts of my children. I must take on the role that Jesus did. He became a mediator between God and man. I must be a mediator between the world and the hearts of my children.

I have my arrow in hand. I may miss out on shopping trips, extended vacations and dining out, but I won't miss my target....the heart of my children.

Well Behaved Women

On Saturday afternoon I was alone in the car with my honey for the first time in a week. We had just left the church where our oldest daughter had just married and we were on our way to the reception. (I will post about the ceremony later.) We were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. I was glowing as I laid my head back to rest as Don had asked me to. I had a hard time closing my eyes because I couldn't stop looking at him. I so admired the man sitting behind the steering wheel and just wanted to continue gazing at him as he drove. Being tired, it didn't take long before I drifted off to sleep. As brief as it was, it was refreshing.

We came to a quick halt and I opened my eyes. Don gently put his hand on me to apologize because a car had cut in on us and he had to hit the brakes. I looked at the car in front of us and saw a bumper sticker on it. It said, "Well behaved women rarely make history."

I couldn't stop staring at it because I wondered how many women believe that. I, for one, could not and would not receive that. According to the standards of society, I'm consider a well behaved woman. True as that may be, what's not true is that there's a chance I may not make history.

What does it take to make history?

I have several answers to that questions. When I woke up this morning and ministered to my family by taking care of my home, I was making history. Even as I sit here right now writing this blog, I'm making history. I started on my history making journey when I decided to do things contrary to what was popular. I looked back in history trying to figure out where our society went wrong. In the late 60's - early 70's, there was a shift in our land. Women were told by other women they didn't have to behave anymore. Thus began the feminist movement that was suppose to bring freedom to women. As a child I remember looking around and wondering what happened. Some things in history don't need to be repeated.

In my quest, I found this~
Thus says the Lord: "Stand in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; then you will find rest for your souls..." Jeremiah 6:16

I've decided that I'm going to continue to behave while making history. Who knows, maybe I'll be in the history books one day and you may not realize it. I'll be the mother of the worldchangers that you're reading about.

I Can't Find It Anywhere! But I Found.....

As the sweat beads form on my forehead and my freshly washed blow dried hair looks a lot like my sister's senior picture from the 70's, I'm tired from searching for the manual on parenting young adult children. You know that manual that has a step by step guide to parenting young adults and helping them transition into adulthood. Did you see it here at my house on your last visit? Did I loan it to you? Not quite sure now?!

I looked through my list of books on the bookshelf. Searching each spine of the books hoping for something.....anything that has "young adults" written on it. It's got to be here. We have all kinds of books in our library. Books on marriage, raising children, Godly finances, you name it we got it. In my quest to find such a book only produced the one book I always come back to. The Bible.

I want to start off by saying I have great young adult children. I'm so happy that God chose me to be their momma. The problem is really not my young adult children. The problem is with me. I have to rely on God's Word and trust that He is in control. I had to pray for fear of failure as a mother to leave because it started to consume me. It's a trick that the adversary uses against so many Godly mothers. Sometimes when I operate in fear, my mind runs away with "what ifs." My prayer today is that I fully lean on God during this season of my life. I tell women often, "Embrace the season you're in." I need to apply these words to my life.

After reading Deuteronomy 6:1-9, I was encouraged because verse 7 is something that I've applied to my life since becoming a mother. As a mother, God commanded me to teach these commandments to my children. Yes I did, but in order to do it, I had to be there. I did during those long hours of nursing them as infants. Those longs days of walking around with a sore foot from stepping on Legos. Those longs night of being up with sick children hacking in my face and trying to catch the snot on the upper lip of my child before it makes it's way into his or her mouth.

It's a sacrifice that's been well worth it. Now that I have some children in that young adult age, I'm happy I made the choices I did when they were younger. The only thing I regret is spending so much time fearing failure. Thank God for His grace.

I'm not perfect. I'm a parent. So that alone cancels out being perfect. I am confident in His Word and not the word society has placed on me.

I'm confident that my world changers will do just that....Change the world!


¹ “Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the LORD your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess,
² that you may fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.
³ Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the LORD God of your fathers has promised you—‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’ ⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one!
⁵ You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. ⁶ “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

"My Boaz" ~ By: Ruth

The excerpt below was written by my daughter Ruthie on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 5:41pm. I was looking through her notes on Facebook and can across this note she wrote. She titled it "My Boaz" I've been actively involved with a group on Facebook called "Daughter's of the King" and we're doing a study on the Book of Ruth . When I came across this, I found some similarities in my writings on the Book of Ruth and that of my daughters. It was so encouraging to read what Ruthie had written. Now that she's in a courtship, I'm glad I took the time to invest in her and train her to be a godly woman. I joked around a few months ago about waiting for my Boaz to come on the scene. And even in the midst of the joking, something started to really stir in my heart.

In Bible times, when parents named their children, those names had very prophetic meaning. They'd be named, and somewhere in the span of their lifetime, a situation (or string of situations) would occur that fell in line with that name. I have always found that completely amazing! How did the parents know? Did the person give meaning to the name or did the name give meaning to the person or is it both? (Things that make you go hmmmmm =) )

But looking over the book of Ruth, I see alot of connections between this Biblical character and myself. In the Hebrew, Ruth means "Beautiful friend" or "Friend of Beauty". I like the explanation given to the name Ruth here:
"She is strong, dedicated, well respected, and hard working; she will fight for those she loves; a born leader"

What a great name I have! I love it! (Thank you Mom!)

I share basically all of these characteristics with Ruth. Not only that, but Ruth also had her share of hardships. She ended up a widow after her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in-law all died. She had left the land which she came from in order to stick by her mother-in-law who was really going through it. She was a stranger in a foreign land. She was just doing the best she could to honor Naomi and God.

And man, in so many ways, that has been my story. Things in my life have died in the past. There have been moments of feeling like I don't belong. Moments when all I had to hold onto were the promises God had made me.

But none-the-less, Ruth positioned herself in the best place to find the awesome man of God she deserved more than anyone else--Boaz. Boaz was wealthy and prosperous, but caring and compassionate to those under him. He was just minding his own business when he saw Ruth for the first time. He inquired of her. And all Ruth was doing was being faithful to what Naomi had said. She was just going about her business, not trying to seek the attention of anyone, not wanting to be put first, but rather, humbly stepped back and was last. And THAT is what drew Boaz to her.

How many times do we young women feel like we need to strive in order to have the man God created for us to be with to see us? We've got it wrong, girls. You need to do only one thing: just be you. Don't work to get attention. If you have to work to get it, then maybe he's just not Boaz. Don't try to get the spotlight. Ruth placed herself last, and as a reward, she became the great grandmother of King David, and she is found in the blood line of Jesus! And just be patient. Go about your business. Serve the Lord. Serve the Church. Keep your eyes focused on harvesting for the Kingdom as Ruth was harvesting for Naomi, and one day when you aren't expecting it, you'll look up and see your Boaz =)

That's really all I wanted to say. That's something I've been letting marinate in my heart for months now, but couldn't quite find the words to explain it all. But I have now =)

True Love Really Does Wait

February is the month when we will hear and see the words, "I Love You" everywhere we go. During this time there will be young men and especially young women waiting for Cupid's arrow to pierce them. I've seen many young women that will put themselves in Cupid's path on purpose to make sure they're hit. They can be standing from afar watching Cupid do his thing. They've seen him lodge the arrow so deep into another woman's heart, only to yank it out and take a piece of it with him. Willing to look past the fact that he's planted a seed that that he will not water nor provide nourishing food.

We tell ourselves that it's different this time. It's different because I'm different. I'm not like all the other silly girls. He loves me.....

Young women believe a lie straight from the pit itself. It's easy to believe because we all want to be loved. What woman wouldn't want to be held by a man and have him whisper words to us that sends our imagination seeing him running across the field towards us with a bouquet of flowers hand picked by him.

Then next thing you know you've given something precious to him that God intended for your husband. You did it because you really love him and he loves you. News flash, "True Love Waits!"

Love is not suppose to hurt the core of who you are. Love is not suppose to leave you with a heart so broken that the only way you feel you can mend it it by giving it to someone new. Only to say the same line over again to ourselves, "It's different because I'm different. I'm not like all the other silly girls. He loves me....." Last I knew a gerbil is something that's suppose to jump on a wheel and go round and round. Not you!

"True Love Waits!" and it will wait as long as you need it to. I Corinthians 13 tells us that love is patient and it's kind. If your beau does not display either of these characteristics, it's not love and he is not the one for you!

It's not to late for you to get a fresh start. When we repent and come to Christ, we become new creature. That old nature is gone. You can start today, February 1st, and make a commitment that you will wait.

If you're a mother and you think that there's no way of your child changing and making a commitment to wait, think again. Your daughter is crying out for boundaries to be made in her life. Offering to give her birth control pills is not creating a boundary for her. Giving you son a condom "just in case" he needs it is not creating a boundary. Teach them the importance of waiting. Waiting for that true love, even if they've made a mistake. God doesn't throw us away when we make a mistake.

If you're a young woman who wants to make a commitment and need someone to be a mediator between you and your beau, yes I said a mediator and not an accountability partner. The reason why I say this is because you can tell your accountability partner what you want them to knew. A mediator will be in the midst of the relationship offering guidance and pointing you in the right direction. Find a couple in your church to help you in your relationship process.

Psalm 25:21 ~ "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for you."

*The young lady in the picture above is my daughter Ruthie. She took this picture and I titled it, "Waiting For Boaz" Ruthie is in a "Father Led, God Inspired" courtship right now. I will talk more about that in a later post. Her and Ryan have made a choice to demonstrate God's love and be an example to other youth by making a commitment to wait. They both say, that not only do they want to please God, but they want to make their parents proud as well.

He Took A Second Look

Lately I've been talking to one of my son about what to look for in a wife. Yes, I know he's only 18, but that day will come when he comes to me and say, "Mom, I met a girl and I'm really interested in her."

I have yet to hear those words come from his mouth. He has many female friends. I for one consider him to be one of my best friends. We can talk about anything. Sometimes we can have deep conversations. Sometimes it's about politics, ministry, marriage, having solutions to the world's problems, things we're passionate about, ect.

Over the years we've talked to our children openly about relationships and why we don't like dating. Our son has never been on an official date. You know the kind where he goes and picks her up. Takes her to dinner and a movie, alone. Would he like to go to dinner and a movie with a young lady? Perhaps, maybe, but with whom?

Sometimes I scratch my head because I really don't know what he's looking for in a young lady. I have an idea, but when I ask him, he says stuff like, "She's got to have a nice personality." Me being the mom, I'm like "What else?" Then there's this awkward silence....

A few weeks ago he mentioned to me that he saw a young lady wearing a skirt. I was kind of puzzled because he sees young ladies in skirts all the time, but something was different about this skirt. The next words to proceed out of his mouth was, "She had on a modest skirt and she looked like a lady."

Then it dawned on me that it's not very often that he sees a young lady dressed modest. He told me he had to take a second look. Wow!..... Imagine that, a young man taking a second look at a young lady dressed in modest attire.

The Invisible Mom

The Invisible Mom
by: Nicole Johnson

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is 20 the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude -- but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped pack age, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read -- no, devour -- the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals -- we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit..The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did.

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Just Call Me Mom

Everybody has a passion for something. I'm passionate about a couple of things in my life. I'm passionate about God. The One who created me and changed me from the inside out. I'm passionate about being the best help meet that I possibly can to a man that deserves my up most respect. Don is a man full of integrity and lives the life that others just talk about. One of my greatest passions in life is being a mom.

Mom. A simple three letter word that has enough impact to bring real change that we so desperately cry out for. It's me, Sandra, known as "mom" to my children, that's raising up a generation of worldchangers that will shape the future of this nation.

Mom. A simple three letter word that doesn't have BA, MD, PhD or XYZ ect. behind it, but an occupation that existed before the alphabet letters were known. When I became a mom, the only formal education I had was from watching and listening to other moms. But when the alphabets are just a fading memory in my mind, my heart will still smile at the sound of the word "mom"

I encourage all women with children to embrace your calling as a mom. Rock those babys to sleep at night. Be patience with the toddler you're trying to potty train. Answer the "why?" questions because Little Man might have the solution to a cure for cancer. Help your kids find their identities in their tween years. Don't run from your teenagers and tell them you'll be back when their grown. Let them know that the changes that are taking place in their body is normal. Your boys need you to tell them that they are strong and it's okay to be masculine. Your girls need to hear from you that they are pretty and it's okay to be feminine.

Society may tell you that you have so much more to give than just being a mom. You need to tell them because your just a mom, society will have a future they can be proud of.

Speak Life

When was the last time you spoke life into your child?

As I sat there this past Saturday watching Trae make history by becoming the first male in my family to graduate, Don whispered in my ear, "You're a great mother. You always encourage the kids. It's all because of you."

I thought the tears were already flowing, but after he said that I was looking for a bucket to catch them. I can't say that I did anything special or brought a number of "how-to" books. One thing I did and always do is speak life to my children. When I see their flaws, most times I often overlook them because we are all a work in progress. Plus I wouldn't want my kids to talk about my flaws because they would have lots to talk about.

There have been times that I've commented to another mom on something good that her child has done. Then she will proceed to tell me everything "bad" that Johnny did last week. Imagine the shame Johnny must feel when he's in hearing distance of mommy's conversation. Or when I tell mommy that Suzy looks so cute in that outfit. Mommy doesn't hesitate to say that Suzy went from a size 4T to a 6x because she can't get rid of the "baby fat."

As I look through my purse for a muzzle to put over mom's mouth I now understand why Johnny acts the way he does and Suzy's lack of confidence.

I always tell my kids that they will be history makers in this land. That they will change the world. That they are leaders and not followers. That they don't follow the trend, they set it. I tell them that I'm a mother to world changers.

I'll admit that at first it was a struggle for me to say those things. I had no idea what I was doing when I became a mother. I was so young. Yes I was a teenager. One thing I did know is that I wanted my kids to make a difference in this world. But in order for them to do that it had to start with me. I had to change my way of thinking. I first had to believe that it was possible for my kids to change the world. If I didn't believe it, how could I convince them.

One day while sitting in the rocking chair nursing Ben, I started saying to him all these great things that he was going to do when he grew up. I then looked at the other 3 kids running through the house. One by one I saw the potential in each one of them. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, I knew that I had tapped into something. I was always a positive mom, but I knew that I needed to convey to my children the potential that I saw.

My children are history makers and so are yours. Tell them that today.
*Turn the music off from the sidebar to listen to this song.

Cherish Your Mother

"Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Tomorrow is Mother's Day." Those are the words that I've been whispering under my breath all day. It wasn't until after I got the bread in the oven today that I realize that Mother's Day is painful for me. It was around Mother's Day a few years ago that my mother went home to be with Jesus.

I was a miracle baby. My mother had a tubal ligation after my sister was born. Five years later to her astonishment, she was told that she was pregnant with me. It was very difficult for her to accept the fact that she was yet expecting again. She already had 5 children of her own. Not to mention that she raised my father's children from previous relationships.

She never went into details as to what happened between her and my father during the pregnancy. One thing I know is that it was a struggle for them to accept another baby. Rejection set in at an early age for me. I will talk about that in a later post. There is one thing I do want to say though. If you have an "unexpecting pregnancy" please be careful how you respond and what you say. I firmly believe that no pregnancy is unexpecting. God who is the creator of life was not "surprise" by that precious baby in your womb. It was God's plan. One thing that is not God's plan, that is for rejection to take root in a person life.

I shared the Gospel with my mother when I was 16. She accepted Him.

I thought about my mother so much today. I also thought about the many people who will face Mother's Day tomorrow without a mother. There are many of us who cannot pick up the phone early in the morning to wish mom a Happy Mother's Day. Cards weren't mailed out this week. Flowers weren't sent. Reservations at mom's favorite restaurant weren't made.

My prayer for you on tomorrow is that God will embrace you with His love. That you would feel His peace all around you. I want you to know that it's okay to cry. I for one will cry tomorrow. I will cry because I miss my mother. I will also cry with a praise in my heart knowing that she's with her Father in heaven.

For those of you whose mother is still alive. Cherish her on tomorrow and everyday.