His Bride

"You are embedded in my heart. You dwell within me."

Just like the beauty of capturing fireflies in a jar on a warm summer's evening, are the beauty of these precious words spoken to me by my beloved. Once these words were spoken, I pictured myself running through fields covered with lavender being pursued by him. Not running too hard because I longed to be captured and held in his arms. 

"You're imagination has gone wild." as some would say.

Romantic as it sounds and unrealistic as it may be, I have these thoughts often of my beloved and me. For many years I've wondered what could bring a man to express these types of emotions? They say men are suppose to be tough and rugged. They are told being all emotional is wimpy. Somehow, my beloved is able to express himself in such a way that most men would cringe at the thought of doing it. The thought of letting their wives see them in such a venerable state causes a man to turn away from her, rather than let his true feeling show.

Mother's Day weekend was a special time for us. We spent time alone away from the children. Away from everything. Before we left, I knew our time away would be special. How special I didn't know for sure. We made a decision long ago that when we had alone time, it was just that. Alone. Being whisked away so quickly by my husband had me blushing. The excitement alone I could hardly contain, but I knew something would be different this time.....

"You are embedded in my heart. You dwell within me."

I was in awe over his choice of words. Looking into his eyes as I felt my hands being held by the hands that go out each day to provide for the children and me, I asked him to explain what he meant. His example was like that of a tree. The roots of a tree go deep. Roots grow all throughout the soil and intertwine with each other. They grow around hard rocks and still manage to survive.

While the tears of joy fell down my plump cheeks, there was a question that pondered my mind. Don't get me wrong. I was elated. Emotions were hard to contain. Between the tears and the giggles I asked, "What made you say that?"

His response was shocking to me because I didn't realize how important my actions throughout our marriage meant to him.

He went on to explain that I still acted like his bride.

Puzzled by his response because we've been married for some time now. I know there have been times when I didn't "act" my best. I inquired of him to expound so that I can understand. If my action brought out emotions like this, I want to keep "acting" this way.

He went on to explain that I still do the same things I did when we first met. Flabbergasted, I thought for sure I had grown and matured over the years. So being the inquisitive woman that I am, I wanted to know more. I wanted details.

To my surprise he proceeded to tell my that I've remained feminine all these years and still blush as if it's his first time talking to me.

Huh? That's it! I've been whisked away for a romantic weekend. Heard the sweetest words that a woman longs to hear all because I'm feminine and I blush. Surely there's got to be more than this.

Why wouldn't I remain feminine? After all, I knew from the very beginning it was the pink colors, soft shades purple, the twirl of my skirt and the way I curled my hair that kept his eyes focused on me. Blushing just comes naturally because I see the glistening in his eyes and I know what he's thinking upon my arrival to any setting, public or private.

I don't claim to be an expert on how to be the perfect wife. I'm far from it, but I think my husband may be onto something here. As women we long for that man who would open the car door for us. That man who would go out of his way to romance us and swoon at the sight of us. That same man who received a confirmation that yes we will become his bride.

Does your husband still see you as his bride? If not, is it because you no longer act like his bride?

My imagination of a bride consist of a woman who's blushing and makes an effort to be the best whenever she's in the presence of her bridegroom. It behooves us to continue "acting" like his bride long after the marriage covenant is made. Just as marriage represents an earthly relationship of Christ and the church, we are the church. As wives, let us be the example of what the church looks like.

As we anticipate the return our bridegroom, we so eagerly act like His bride. We make sure our hearts are clean because we know that He's coming for a church without a spot or blemish. In the same manner, let us always act like a bride to our husbands. Let our hearts remain steadfast focused on pleasing him only and our thoughts toward him pure.

"Pick Me!" But, Why Should He?

Being a married woman for all of my adult life doesn't make me an expert per se in the area of singleness. Some have told me that I'm the last person that should be dishing out advice to single women. Maybe they are right. But on the flip side, who would give the best advice to a single woman who's hoping to be found? Could it be a married woman that's been married all of her adult life? The odds are favorable for a single woman to become a helpmeet, if the advice was taken from another married woman and applied to her life.

We don't have to go very far to see women carrying the invisible sign that says "Pick Me!"

The question that I would like to pose, "Why should he? What makes you different from all the other women?" In order to be notice, you have to be different.

This is just my opinion and only my opinion. I believe men are looking for a woman who's wife material. There are many things that a man looks for when searching for a wife. One thing he's looking for is someone who can be a secret keeper. What do I mean by a secret keeper? Let me explain....

Whether they will admit it or not, men have very sensitive egos. They pride themselves on being the best in every area of their lives. When they are good at what they do, they want others to notice. When they fall short in an area, they quickly try to cover it up before anybody gets wind of it. When a man gets married, who sees the short falls in his life? His wife.

When a single man is searching for a wife, he's looking for one who doesn't gossip. He listens closely to what single women say about others in their conversations. If he sees that she is prone to gossip and speaks0 negatively about others, he does not see her as wife material. Why? Because he is afraid that she won't be a secret keeper and will expose his short falls for all to see. At the least, he knows that her friends will know about his short falls.

Over the years I've watched the prettiest girls get passed up for the girl who was least expected to get the guy. There have been times when I've even had to scratch my head and say, 'Hmmm....." He didn't choose her because she was the prettiest. He didn't choose her because she wore the latest fashions. He didn't choose her because of her hour glass figure. He choose her because she made him feel safe. He knew that she could be his secret keeper.

A Letter to My Son

To My Son,

Some day, some one will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. You, Dad and I have had so many conversations about the young lady that God created just for you. There were times you've expressed frustration because you know she's out there, but you just don't know where.

As it's written in Proverbs 31, King Lemuel talks about what his mother taught the son of her womb. Those words hold true still today. As the son of my womb, I utter the words, "It will be worth the wait."

I also want to encourage you to not lower your expectations and settled for less than what God has for you. That would be so easy to do. I know first hand because I've done that many times in my life. The pain that I've experienced by settling left me empty with a broken heart.

I know that you desire a young woman who's heart is totally sold out for Christ. That's the greatest asset she will have. But I also know the virtues that you're looking for. I want to say to you that there's nothing wrong with the virtues you're looking for in a young lady. Continue believing the truth found in the word of God about what a virtuous woman is.

I must confess my son that I think about her too. I wonder what type of personality will she have. Will she laugh at my corny jokes? Will she adorn herself in an apron during the holidays and stand with your sisters and I in the kitchen? Will she encourage you to remain close to your family while raising your own? I know that's your desire. It's mine too.

I look forward to the day when she becomes a part of our family :)

Some day son you will find her.

Love,
Mom

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
-Galatians 6:9

My Son's Encounter

Yesterday I was washing dishes when I heard my son come through the front door huffing and puffing. He has just come from a corporate meeting with the company he works for. He's not part of corporate yet, being only 19 years of age. His hope is to someday make up the ladder with the company he works for. He started out a little over a year ago bagging groceries. My husband encouraged him at that time to move up within a year. He did just that.

The meeting he attended is held once a month. His boss encourages him to attend so that the people in corporate can get to know him. The only problem during this meeting, my son was the only male in attendance. He informed me that the meeting is open to everyone, but it's geared toward women and how women can advance in corporate with this company.

Next word that proceeded from his mouth, "feminist!"

He told me that he couldn't believe what was coming out of the mouths of the women. Over and over again he kept thanking me for educating him about the feminist movement and the dangers that come along with it.

We then proceeded to talking about his wife. He's not married yet, but greatly desires to be one day. Thus the reason for him trying to earn a sufficient living to provide for his future family.

My son walked away from that meeting wondering if he would ever find a young woman who would know the value of her role in the home. Many say he's asking to much from a young woman and that's the reason why he's still single. Perhaps that's the case. Or maybe he's just choosing not to settle. After all, he's very handsome and passionately loves God. He has a job and a car. Best yet, he's never kissed a girl and does not plan on it until after he's married.

By the way, my son said he wants to marry someone who's anti-feminist.

I say hooray for him!

I want to encourage all young women to look into the feminist movement and the history behind it before calling yourself a "feminist." You can search far and wide to find yourself a place in this world. Only to lose yourself by conforming to what someone else says you should be. 

"What Am I Going To Do Without You?!"

Don and I haven't had this conversation in a long time. There hasn't been a real need until recently. I'm going on a retreat this weekend. I'm scheduled to speak on "Inner Healing" and "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made."




Don: "What am I going to do without you?"

Me: "Ummm.....(smiling sheepishly) Yeah, what are you going to do without me?"

Don: "I don't know. When you're not here I feel so lost."

Me: "You scared you're gonna have to cook or clean huh? Maybe you're just scared that you're gonna have to iron your shirt on Sunday morning."

Don: "I know! Ya see what am I going to do without you?"


Some say he's spoiled, but I say he's well loved. Well, okay, I must confess, maybe he's a little spoiled. It's out of my love for him that I want to serve him. God used him to bring healing into my life. If my husband hadn't loved me unconditionally without any strings attached, there's no way I could go to a retreat and talk about inner healing.

I'm the first to say that I was a handful when we got married. I was an emotional train wreck still left on the tracks because no one knew how to rescue me. How could someone rescue me when they couldn't come within 3 feet of my space because I would shut down and shut people out. I had to protect myself and didn't want love from anybody. Love hurt. That's what I thought because everyone who said they loved me, hurt me.

Then one day this farmboy comes along from a small town that I have never heard of and captivated me with the love that's so rare. He modeled I Corinthians chapter 13, the love chapter. He was able to breakthrough to me and demonstrated the Godly love that I read about in the Bible.

My husband would treat me so good that I remember crying to a friend one day. I was crying because I read in the Bible that we're not suppose to have idols. I thought God was going to remove me because I may have been an idol in Don's life. Then I found out that he was just loving me like Christ loves the church.

Recently I over heard a brother from church asking my husband if he was spoiled. I wonder what gave him that impression?! I'm not sure how many men read my blog. I need to ask my husband if he does.....But for those of you men who do, if you want to be spoiled, love your wife like Christ love the church.....with no strings attached. For the women who read my blog, allow him to love you. No, he's not going to be perfect. Perfect love comes from the Father. If you give him a chance to love you as best as he knows how, he will learn along the way. He will learn even faster if you stop telling him how to do it. You can demonstrate by your actions in giving him honor and reverence.

I'm really going to miss my husband and children while I'm gone. One things for sure, I'm so glad that my husband feels lost without me than lost when he's with me.

He Took A Second Look

Lately I've been talking to one of my son about what to look for in a wife. Yes, I know he's only 18, but that day will come when he comes to me and say, "Mom, I met a girl and I'm really interested in her."

I have yet to hear those words come from his mouth. He has many female friends. I for one consider him to be one of my best friends. We can talk about anything. Sometimes we can have deep conversations. Sometimes it's about politics, ministry, marriage, having solutions to the world's problems, things we're passionate about, ect.

Over the years we've talked to our children openly about relationships and why we don't like dating. Our son has never been on an official date. You know the kind where he goes and picks her up. Takes her to dinner and a movie, alone. Would he like to go to dinner and a movie with a young lady? Perhaps, maybe, but with whom?

Sometimes I scratch my head because I really don't know what he's looking for in a young lady. I have an idea, but when I ask him, he says stuff like, "She's got to have a nice personality." Me being the mom, I'm like "What else?" Then there's this awkward silence....

A few weeks ago he mentioned to me that he saw a young lady wearing a skirt. I was kind of puzzled because he sees young ladies in skirts all the time, but something was different about this skirt. The next words to proceed out of his mouth was, "She had on a modest skirt and she looked like a lady."

Then it dawned on me that it's not very often that he sees a young lady dressed modest. He told me he had to take a second look. Wow!..... Imagine that, a young man taking a second look at a young lady dressed in modest attire.

Be Careful Little Tongue What You Say

Gossip Corner

by Ellen Bailey

Do you have a gossip corner inside your home A place to spread rumors or create your own A place where prattle can be spread around town A place that allows others to drag someone down Unfounded gossip can travel in many directions Overcoming obstructions and evading correction It can negate happiness and put sorrow in its place It can erase a smile and put tears on someone's face Smearing others and tarnishing their reputations Should be left to those of a younger generation We who are older and are supposed to be mature Should not abet in spreading this kind of manure Quell the gossip that tries to enter into your home Do not give it more legs on which to further roam Replace it with mentions of truly honorable deeds And demonstrate to others your personal integrity

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As keeper of my home, it's my duty to guard what comes into my house. There are so many things that we wouldn't dare allow to come into our house. Some of the obvious are R-rated movies that would cause sleepless nights to our young children and make our teenagers hormones rage off the charts. We wouldn't allow secular music to enter our homes and fill our kids minds with fantasies that are unrealistic and cause us to think about past relationships when "our song" would come on. Especially those slow jams from the 80s. I for one check every piece of garment that my kids buy from the store. There's no room in the drawers and not enough hangers in the closet for immodest clothes and pants that will fall to the ground because the proper size wasn't purchase.

As I keep a watchful eye on what comes into my home, some things come in that I can't see. They travel in through the hearts of those who enter my home. Whether it's someone who lives here or someone else who brings it in. They are invisible and unless I'm God, which I'm not, I can't see them. One of those things is gossip. When we hear the word gossip right away red flags go up and we disassociate ourselves from that word. In reality, who wants to be known as a gossip or even associated with one. No one. But the sad truth is.....we have all been there and done that. Praise God for growth and the truth that resides in His word.

I remember once while teaching Sunday school many years ago, a little boy looked up at me and said, "Sister King you're really nice and I don't know why my mom talks about you."

I would like to caution you to be careful what you say around your children. If they don't repeat what you say about someone, their actions will show towards that adult that you're talking about.

There have been many wonderful children who have walked away from the Lord. Not because of what mom and dad did in the home, but because of what mom and dad said in the home. What they said about other people sitting around the dinner table and on the phone. What's a child to do when parents have another couple over from for coffee and they hear them talk about Brother and Sister John & Jane Doe. Guard your home! Don't allow anything to enter your home that does not glorify God and/or His people.

There are many quotes regarding gossip:

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
Spanish Proverb

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Will Rogers

Gossip is always a personal confession either of malice or imbecility.
Josiah Gilbert Holland

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers

Never tell evil of a man, if you do not know it for certainty, and if you know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, 'Why should I tell it?'
Johann K. Lavater

Proverbs 26:20 - Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; And where there is no talebearer, strife ceases.