A Homemaker's Attitude

As you may know by now, homemaking takes time. Time can be your best friend or you view it as an enemy. However you see time, a few things are certain; time does not stop nor does it wait. It just keeps on ticking.

Too often in my younger years of homemaking, I thought time was an enemy. I would wake up early in the morning with my to-do list in hand ready to conquer the tasks that were before me. I would try to cut corners in order to save time.

Oh sisters, I must confess something to you. I despise cleaning toilets. How I wish I could tell you that there is a smile on my face as I scrub the toilet bowl. Not only is there not a smile on my face, there’s mumbling on my lips. As I stand scrubbing, I cannot help but to wonder how long I must stand there scrubbing. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing with my time. I need to check Facebook. After all, I want to see if there’s an update on my friend’s next door neighbor’s grandmother who was having surgery. Also, someone may share an idea on a short cut to cleaning toilets.

How I wish I could say that my attitude regarding homemaking is always a positive one. It is not.

Last week after scrubbing the toilets, my daughter commented on how clean our toilets were and how much she enjoyed that. My heart beat a little faster. The first thought that came to my mind was whether or not she heard the mumbles that I uttered from my heart.

At the time, my heart says there is more to life than scrubbing toilets.

Preparing meals for my family is something I can do all day. I love being in the kitchen. I have fond memories of time spent in the kitchen. While in the kitchen, my heart is filled with praise. My attitude is great because it’s something I enjoy doing.

How quickly my attitude can change at the dinner table when the meal that took hours to prepare is eaten within ten minutes. By the way, I do not recall hearing a “thank you” or “this is delicious”. All I hear are grunts and “mmm…” accompanied by a few burps.

My family does not realize that I missed what is trending on social media because I was too busy cooking a meal. Now I am out of the loop. Three hours have passed since that friend I have never met posted a picture of her husband taking her to a lovely new restaurant on opening night. She already has so many likes and comments on that photo. All I have is a kitchen table with dirty plates.

At the time, my heart says there is more to life than cooking meals for your family.

As for me, time is not necessarily the enemy. It is my heart and the things that dwell therein. The mouth speaks what my heart says. Once I recognized that there is an ongoing battle with homemaking versus my idols, I was able to put things into perspective.

Homemaking for me could not be confined to a certain time of the day. I admire those women who have a schedule and stick to it. My greatest success in homemaking came when I acknowledged that homemaking was a matter of the heart. If I truly believed that I am called to be a homemaker, it will show in my attitude. It will be easier for me to put away the idols that consume my time.

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” -Proverbs 31:27

Set Apart

If you were to ask my teenage daughter to describe me in one sentence, she may tell you something like this:

My mother acts like a seventeen year old trapped in the body of a middle-aged woman who is a grandmother going through changes in a body that gravity has definitely taken a toll on.

Whew! That was a mouthful. So much of that mouthful was full of truth. I could go on and on about the body changes, but I don't want to embarrass my husband, my children, my friends, my leaders or other women who have the same thing(s) going on with their bodies who swore me to secrecy. (Shhh...my lips are sealed.)

However, I must confess, the part about the seventeen year old really got me to thinking. I do have a tendency to "act" like a seventeen year old. After all, I can text faster than a speeding bullet. Just text me and you'll see how fast I will respond. I post selfies on Instagram. In fact, one photo had a semi-ducklip look to it because that's what teenage girls do right? Although the ducklip is not as cute as some would think. I tweet so much that my followers know what I'm doing or thinking at any given moment. I just had the urge to tweet that I am writing a new blogpost, but I didn't.

Am I trying to fit in with a group that is clearly out of my age range?

Why I still have the need fit in even at my age?

On January first of this year, I decided to step away from any and everything for 21 days that distracted me from living. Real living. The life I had once lived not long ago. The life that the older Titus 2 woman in church encouraged me to live. A life that is set apart.

During this time, I had no idea what was happening in the social media world. I was so worried that my Facebook friends would get offended if I missed their birthday. What would happen if I went three weeks without posting a status? I thought for sure the five women who always give me a star next to my tweet would surely unfollow me thinking I had jumped ship. 

They say that social media is not real life. I beg to differ. Yes, we can be anyone we want on social media. I can easily tell you that I wear a size 2 dress. I can even prove it with the help from the latest editing software. For me, social media mirrored my real life.

In real life I strive to make sure my friends are doing well. When I don't hear from someone I would call just to make sure everything was good between us. Being quick to apologize because I did not want to offend anyone. When you offend people, they reject you. Rejection is one of my greatest fears. My greatest fear was keeping me from living a set apart life. 

Living a set apart life requires you to live a different life. I received that revelation on day 8 of 21 days of consecration. Here's the revelation...

"Why are you trying to fit in when I have called you to stand out?"

I knew then that I strayed so far from the life that God had already laid out for me. No, I was partying like a rock star at the nearest nightclub. No, I did not leave my family to go and find myself. No, I did not go to the edge to see how far I could go without falling over. I did, however, started to wonder why I would strive so hard to fit in like a teenage girl in high school.

Being certain that I am not the only one whom God has called to live a life set apart, I want to encourage you to keep living that life. That life that requires you to act in such a manner that others will not understand you. That life that requires you to dress different. That life that requires you to talk different. That life that requires you to come under the mission of your husband and leaders. That life that requires you to be the center of the gossip circle. That life that requires you to sacrificially lay it down. After all, that is what Christ did. We are to emulate Him. He was in the midst of the crowd; at the same time, He set Himself apart. Do not be afraid to live a life set apart.

"So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed." -Luke 5:16

My Journey to Simplicity Has Just Become Simpler

I did it! I went 7 days wearing only 7 pieces of clothing. I can't say that it was hard. In some ways it was, but in others, not so much. The word that's most fitting is funny with the "LOL" in caps. There were a few funny moments that I dare not share publicly. None the less, it was surely a journey that I will never forget.

I did however, learn something about myself. It had nothing to do with clothes, but everything to do with something material that up until 3 years ago I didn't have. It's my laptop. Or should I say was my laptop.

For years I longed to have my own laptop. I would literally dream about the things I could do with my laptop. For years I shared a desktop with the children and occasionally with my husband when he got on two or three times a year. One day, my dream came true.

I still remember the day bringing her home. Yes, her, because I called her "my little girl". She was mine. Everybody knew that she was mine. She was such a part of me that I gave her a name. I named her Tilly. I went so far as to add her as a daughter on my Facebook profile. I know by now you're shaking your head wondering if I had my head examined recently. Rest assure, my head is fine; well, as least that's what I've told myself for years (ha ha).

I've been longing for simplicity and carry out my commitments to the book "7" by: Jen Hatmaker. What I didn't know that my journey to simplicity would entail learning a valuable lesson about myself. You see, I had not died to self (me) the way that I thought I had. It wasn't until some material thing that was so precious to be was no longer there. Soon after, I heard something. Or should I say Someone.

"I'm all that you need Sandra. When you have Me, you have everything."

I wanted a simple life. I wanted to rid myself of excess. I wanted this journey to open my eyes to me and the things deep within me. That's exactly what He did and exactly what He's doing. He's making my life simple...

In recent days I've been reminiscing about the early days of my children's live. The days before I had a computer at all. Those days were so sweet and full of peace. We got up. We ate. We "played" school, but I was really homeschooling; I didn't know it then. I remember the days when I had no idea what was going on in the world because we didn't receive any channels on our television. Those were the days. The days where my stress consisted of a baby teething and why didn't my child eat lunch. I long for those days...

The next journey that I'm going on is a "No Stress" journey. That will be 7 days of no stress. How can that be possible? I'm not sure, but I'm going to find out. For sure that means ridding myself of those things that bring stress. My 7 days of no stress would be easier if I went to Hawaii, but I'm not. I'll let you know how it goes. Not sure when I'll be back on. I'm at the library and my session is about to expire. Until then, take care my friends.

Oh, before I forget, I gave away 7 pieces of clothing.

Unplugged: 7 Days of Wearing 7 Pieces of Clothing, Day 1

My outfit for the next 7 days...

It's only day 1 on my journey to wearing 7 pieces of clothing for 7 days. Yes, the same 7 pieces. I've been teary-eyed most of the day. I got teary-eyed the first time when I realized it was either a jacket or another piece of clothing.

Why did I get so emotional over a simple jacket? Well, because some people don't have the luxury of owning a jacket and I own several. It was at that moment that I chose to go without the jacket.

Five black skirts...Really Sandra?...Excess!

Afterward, I spent most of the afternoon sorting through clothes and transitioning for the warmer months. I put clothes in piles according to colors, prints, ect. I looked over at the pile of black skirts and I cried again.

"Will I ever stop crying?" That's the question that keeps pondering in the back of my mind...

It was then that I knew God was doing something in my heart. My 101 questionnaire interview with God started. Yes, it was like I was interviewing Him for the job of being God. It was almost like I was seeing if He was fit to really do it...*big sigh* Of course He is!

Why would I want to stop crying anyway? Why would I even question what He's doing to me while on this this journey?

I'm one of those Christians who always say, "I trust you Lord!" If that's the case why all the questions. Perhaps, it's because I trust Him when I still have some control in a sense. I've decided to let God lead me on this journey. I need to let go and follow...

I'll be back next week to tell you how my journey goes this week. This is my heartsong for the week...

Unplugged: 7 Days Without Social Media

I did it! I went 7 days without any social media. I didn't even Skype with my grandbabies.

My next journey will lead me down the path of asking myself, "Do I really need all of these clothes?"

I was talking to a sister yesterday in church. We were talking about clothes. I was telling her how I need some new clothes. It was then that I realized that I didn't need new clothes, I have enough clothes. Here's what the Bible says about my "dilema" of needing new clothes:

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
-Matthew 6:25 

*big sigh* I'm finally starting to understand it after all these years...

From March 4th - March 11th, I will wear the same 7 pieces of clothing of 7 days. That includes undergarments...Washed daily of course!

"Unplugged": My Journey on 7 Things to Simplicity

"So much to do. So little time," said the woman who didn't complete the to-do list again.

Why is it we have so much to do these days and not enough time? Our fore mothers were inundated with tasks around the home and had the same amount of time as we do today. Yet, at the end of the day, they seem to have accomplished more than I can only imagine.

What is different today than the days of old? My first guess would be technology. We are plugged in to so many sources that our eyes become crossed from reading the latest via blog, Facebook news feed, Twitter and you name it. I've lost count of how many times I have sat on Pinterest getting creative ideas to re-decorate a bedroom, but have not been able to do it because I continue to click that button at the bottom to fetch more pins...*sigh* It was then that I realized my life looked like this:

I needed to become unplugged!

I got confirmation when talking to a friend and she shared this book with me. 

Some women in our church are reading this book. The goal is to do an experiment of sorts. I've decided to do something in regards to social media first, but I feel this tug to do more than just media by the end of my experiment(s).

For those who know me IRL (in real life), know that I'm a very social person. Hey, I'm the girl that will dance with the waiters and waitress at Joe's Crab Shack. I'm the one who's so nosy that I will go up to a random person and want to know their life story. I will even go so far as to try and find out if we're cousins or not. That girl, me, is going to unplug herself.

I'm going to unplug myself. I'm going to unplug myself...*repeating it over and over until it sinks in*

I'm starting out slow. Real slow. I'm not sure what that's going to look like. All I know is that I will start on February 18th.

From February 18th-25th, I will unplug from all social media. Social Media for me includes Facebook (which I love), Twitter (my new found obsession), Pinterest (one word: addicting) and Instagram (*big sigh*). I won't even check my emails during the week. Remember, this is just the beginning. I will do other things to "unplug" myself as time goes on. First, I had to start with something I love, social media. I'll leave my greatest love for last. Chocolate! My flesh is already shaking just thinking about that one.

The goal of my personal journey of unplugging is to live out this verse:

Jeremiah 6:16, "Thus says the Lord: Stand in the ways and see, and ask for the old paths, where the good way is, and walk in it; then you will find rest for your souls."

To help me with this journey, I'm going to delete social media apps from my smart phone. *thump*
Did you hear that loud thump? My was my flesh! It's in the process of dying...

The only way He can increase in my life is if I decrease.

The Going-Away Mentality

The days in my neck of the woods are still somewhat cool. We have had some picture perfect days. Where I live, those days are a sign that summer is fast approaching. My heart longs for the days when the sun burst through and the clouds vanish.

As I have been preparing summer activities for my family, it has kept me occupied. Although I have not written anything in stone, I do have some ideas of what I wanted to do this summer. Some of those include learning Hebrew with one of my sons and jewelry making with my youngest daughter. While my ideas seem to increase, I knew summer time didn't. I had to start narrowing things down. So many things on my list (that's posted inside my head that no one can see) included a lot of time away from home. That's when I remember reading about "The Going-away Mentality"

I found it while reading this book.

The Going-away Mentality:

"What is a going-away mentality? It is the mentality that we need an abundance of social activities that make us run hither and yon to have a good time and do fun things. It means going shopping, mostly just to see what is there and to have something to do. It means going to see a friend, even though we just saw her last evening in church. Sometimes it means committee meetings, birthday surprises, baby showers, Tupperware parties, or something similar. We are restless and discontent unless we have somewhere to go. This mentality gnaws at family life a little like a dog gnaws at a bone, and soon nothing is left. It takes a family to have a family life, and if part of the family is missing, the circle is not complete."

Whew! That was a mouthful. It was said quite nicely compared to how an older woman told me in my earlier years of establishing my family. She simply told me to "stop running the streets." Appalled as I was, I couldn't get mad at her because she was telling me the truth.

It is not that this woman didn't want me having fun. She saw that I was to busy outside of my home, when I should have been busy inside my home. The only way I can do that is if I was home.

It is amazing what can get done around my home when I apply my energies here. It is not to say that the children and I will not venture outside the home this summer. The important thing is to learn boundaries. Learning when to say "no" to things that can disrupt the family life at home. I must say goodbye to some things and say hello to new opportunities that await me here at home.

Getting Settled

On June 30th we set out on a new adventure. We were so excited because it meant that things had fallen into place for the move. We were transitioning from Idaho to the state of Washington.

On June 29th, we started loading the big yellow Penske truck. We were so blessed to have people there to help us, especially the teenagers that had frequented our home on many occasions. It was bitter sweet for me. I love the people in Idaho and will never forget them. Some friendships that were made there will last a lifetime.

We love our new place. It's better than I could have possibly imagined. Don had talked to me about what we could afford before I started looking. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "It sure would be nice if he could add a little more $$$ to that figure." He expressed his desire to continue having me keeping our home and being here with the kids even though they are getting older. As always I trust my husband because I know he will always do what's best for us. I wanted to honor him and my Lord by coming under his submission.

God came through in a big way for me. We found this place by "accident" but we know it was God ordained. It's only 2 years old. In a gated community. On the very outskirts of town which is where we wanted to be. Granite counter tops with stainless steel appliances with tile flooring. The balcony is to die for with a view of beautiful evergreen trees. They painted accent walls with the colors of my choice. There's a pool and a gym. This place will be our home for the next year at least.

So we are getting settled. I can finally see the carpet on the floor. The boxes are quickly vanishing away. My kitchen is as cute a button with all my cow stuff and farm animals. I love walking by the curio cabinet and looking at my collection of porcelain dolls. I love this place and I'm content with the simple things in life.

Throughout this time I learned that by honoring my husband, God will honor me with the desires of my heart. I'm constantly redoing this lesson over and over again. Maybe it's because submission is not an easy thing to do. I have to deny my flesh sometimes and not tell the brother what I really think. So that means I have to watch my tongue and guard my heart. When I speak words, whether good or bad, they go into eternity and I can't take them back. I want the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart to be acceptable in His sight.