Not Withholding Good

Summer is over. I have mixed feelings about it. Mainly because I love my husband's work schedule during the Summer months and I love eating watermelon on a daily basis. Slowly, I'm starting to get back into the swing of a set schedule as I eagerly await for Autumn to officially arrive.

Homeschooling if off to a great start. Our youngest and only child at home has entered her Sophomore year of high school. Where has time gone?...Although being a homeschooler, she's running Cross Country for the local public school that we are zoned for. Their girls Cross Country team is #3 in our state. She had her first invitational meet last Saturday.

As my husband and I were driving up to watch her run, I keep reflecting on something recently I read in Proverbs. Our church has small groups. I purposefully chose to attend the small group with older women. I love to glean from them and from a Biblical stance, I strongly believe in the Titus 2 mandate. So, each week I have the privilege of spending time with a group of older women. Currently we are studying the book of Proverbs. Specifically, the Proverbs 31 woman.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, 

when it is in the power of your hands to do so." 

-Proverbs 3:27

That passage of Scripture stood out to me like a neon blinking off and on. The word "good" got my attention.

As I sat in the passenger seat looking at the beauty of the leaves turning orange with spots of crisp yellow burnt leaves in the midst of tall evergreen trees, I looked at my husband wondering if I'm doing "good" when it comes to him and not withholding anything good. He's so low maintenance. He says he only needs two things. One is a sandwich and you know what number two is.

So I asked myself these questions:
1) Am I doing good by preparing meals that he enjoys and satisfy his hunger?
2) Am I doing good by being the best lover that I can be and fulfilling his sexual needs?

To him, these are good things that he desires to have. For me, the power is in me to do them. After all, Proverbs 31:12 says, "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."

It's All Because of Him That I Serve him

I could feel the cool air coming through the small crack I left in the window last night. With one eye opened, I glanced at the clock. According to the clock and my schedule, I still had two hours of sleep allotted to me. As I lay there pondering if I was going to get up and close the window or go back to sleep, a thought came to my mind.

"What am I going to do today to bless Don?"

To some, it may appear as though my days serving here at home are a complete waste of time and talent. A part me, though, can't help but to think about Jesus who served without hesitation. If I proclaim to the world that I am a believer in Christ and wear the label "Christian", my life should reflect Christ-like behavior.

A wise woman told me years ago that if it doesn't line up with the Word of God, then it should have no place in my life. With that said, what does the Bible say about serving?

"...but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life a ransom for many."
Matthew 20:26b-28

I want to be like the Son of Man. I want to serve like Him. Serving like Him may consist of sacrificing a little sleep in order to make my husband an omelet at 6 am or 12 midnight due to his work schedule. I learned the hard way that being a true servant means I can't complain when being called upon to serve.

Photo Credit: Captured By Kim

So what did I do for my husband today? He loves baked goods. So I made him some Soft Oatmeal Molasses Cookies.

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." ~Proverbs 31:12

A Wife Like Sarah

When I grasp the concept that there was a pattern set for me to follow to be the best wife that I could be, I scratched my head in amazement. Could it have really been that simple? Well, perhaps.

Casually, I was reading the word of God and something hit me like a ton of bricks. The revelation wasn't so deep that I put it into practice right away. No, I pondered it for a few days. I talked to my husband about it. Then I decided to plunge deeper and study this wife. I wanted to know more about her. I wanted, in a sense, to emulate her if at all possible. Her name was Sarah. She was the wife to Abraham.

Sarah was the type of wife that every man would dream about, but only few men would ever have the privilege of being married to a woman such as her. Sarah was beautiful, though, that may have had something to do with why her husband honored her; but I'm sure there was much more. Beauty is only surface. If we go below the surface, we see it was all about the way she reverenced him.

What's a husband to do when his wife calls him lord?


I'm sure this may cause a man to take his guard down and make himself completely venerable. Which is something men may have difficulty doing. I can't speak for other husbands, but I can speak for mine.

The true essence of a man can't help but to respond to the counterpart of himself because she's of reflection of him; yet has many things that he, himself, can not obtain. Those things he can't obtain within him are made complete through his wife. At least this is what my husband conveys. He says that when a man is respected by his wife, he has need of nothing else.

So, I want to be like her. I want to be a wife like Sarah. I'm striving to respect my husband in such a way that I not only obey the Scripture, but that my life honors Him who breathe the words that gave me the pattern to follow.

My beloved and I are celebrating our anniversary this weekend. We are more in love today than ever before.

Before we were married.

"Pick Me!" But, Why Should He?

Being a married woman for all of my adult life doesn't make me an expert per se in the area of singleness. Some have told me that I'm the last person that should be dishing out advice to single women. Maybe they are right. But on the flip side, who would give the best advice to a single woman who's hoping to be found? Could it be a married woman that's been married all of her adult life? The odds are favorable for a single woman to become a helpmeet, if the advice was taken from another married woman and applied to her life.

We don't have to go very far to see women carrying the invisible sign that says "Pick Me!"

The question that I would like to pose, "Why should he? What makes you different from all the other women?" In order to be notice, you have to be different.

This is just my opinion and only my opinion. I believe men are looking for a woman who's wife material. There are many things that a man looks for when searching for a wife. One thing he's looking for is someone who can be a secret keeper. What do I mean by a secret keeper? Let me explain....

Whether they will admit it or not, men have very sensitive egos. They pride themselves on being the best in every area of their lives. When they are good at what they do, they want others to notice. When they fall short in an area, they quickly try to cover it up before anybody gets wind of it. When a man gets married, who sees the short falls in his life? His wife.

When a single man is searching for a wife, he's looking for one who doesn't gossip. He listens closely to what single women say about others in their conversations. If he sees that she is prone to gossip and speaks0 negatively about others, he does not see her as wife material. Why? Because he is afraid that she won't be a secret keeper and will expose his short falls for all to see. At the least, he knows that her friends will know about his short falls.

Over the years I've watched the prettiest girls get passed up for the girl who was least expected to get the guy. There have been times when I've even had to scratch my head and say, 'Hmmm....." He didn't choose her because she was the prettiest. He didn't choose her because she wore the latest fashions. He didn't choose her because of her hour glass figure. He choose her because she made him feel safe. He knew that she could be his secret keeper.

"What Am I Going To Do Without You?!"

Don and I haven't had this conversation in a long time. There hasn't been a real need until recently. I'm going on a retreat this weekend. I'm scheduled to speak on "Inner Healing" and "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made."




Don: "What am I going to do without you?"

Me: "Ummm.....(smiling sheepishly) Yeah, what are you going to do without me?"

Don: "I don't know. When you're not here I feel so lost."

Me: "You scared you're gonna have to cook or clean huh? Maybe you're just scared that you're gonna have to iron your shirt on Sunday morning."

Don: "I know! Ya see what am I going to do without you?"


Some say he's spoiled, but I say he's well loved. Well, okay, I must confess, maybe he's a little spoiled. It's out of my love for him that I want to serve him. God used him to bring healing into my life. If my husband hadn't loved me unconditionally without any strings attached, there's no way I could go to a retreat and talk about inner healing.

I'm the first to say that I was a handful when we got married. I was an emotional train wreck still left on the tracks because no one knew how to rescue me. How could someone rescue me when they couldn't come within 3 feet of my space because I would shut down and shut people out. I had to protect myself and didn't want love from anybody. Love hurt. That's what I thought because everyone who said they loved me, hurt me.

Then one day this farmboy comes along from a small town that I have never heard of and captivated me with the love that's so rare. He modeled I Corinthians chapter 13, the love chapter. He was able to breakthrough to me and demonstrated the Godly love that I read about in the Bible.

My husband would treat me so good that I remember crying to a friend one day. I was crying because I read in the Bible that we're not suppose to have idols. I thought God was going to remove me because I may have been an idol in Don's life. Then I found out that he was just loving me like Christ loves the church.

Recently I over heard a brother from church asking my husband if he was spoiled. I wonder what gave him that impression?! I'm not sure how many men read my blog. I need to ask my husband if he does.....But for those of you men who do, if you want to be spoiled, love your wife like Christ love the church.....with no strings attached. For the women who read my blog, allow him to love you. No, he's not going to be perfect. Perfect love comes from the Father. If you give him a chance to love you as best as he knows how, he will learn along the way. He will learn even faster if you stop telling him how to do it. You can demonstrate by your actions in giving him honor and reverence.

I'm really going to miss my husband and children while I'm gone. One things for sure, I'm so glad that my husband feels lost without me than lost when he's with me.