I am the Older Woman Now

Just hours after she entered the world, I quickly dashed over to get a glimpse of her beauty. My eyes locked upon her face. I couldn’t help but to stare at her. Her plump cheeks prompted me to pull her just a little closer in hopes of feeling her cheek next to mine. As her eyes slowly opened and quickly closed, I wondered how she would view the world as she grows. For a brief moment I pondered the thought of how the world would view her, since she was born into a family with multiple children.
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Titus 2: The Older and the Younger Woman

Yesterday, I was saddened while reading an article that came through my newsfeed on Facebook. You may have read it as well. It was about a pregnant mother driving her SUV into the ocean with her three other children inside. Since I can't see your face, I'm not sure what your response was. Deep down inside though, I'm sure you felt sad just as I did.

Many questions flood our minds upon hearing news of this matter.

Did she not have anyone to turn too for help?
How could a mother do such a thing?
Why, oh why, would she have another child?

Did she love her children?

Was she a single mom?

We can sit for hours on end conversing about this mother. Yes, within minutes, we have her whole life figured out as to why she committed this act against herself and the children she was suppose to protect. We are good at that aren't we. However, are we good at reaching out and lending a hand to a mother such as this?

Older woman, if we opened our eyes wide enough and look around, we know this woman. This woman sits in the pew in front of us each Sunday morning. We recognized her in the grocery store as she juggles a cart full of groceries while keeping a toddler from wandering. This same woman walks down our street taking her children to the park hoping to get a minute to just take a deep breath. Since we know her, what have we done to assist her?

Older woman, you and I have a mandate from Scripture that we have repeatedly ignored. I shiver thinking about blaspheming Holy Spirit. That same fear resides in me at the thought of blaspheming the word of God. I implore you, to open your heart and read this passage of Scripture:

"The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, 

not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things, 

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, 

to love their children, to be obedient to their own husbands, 

that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
~Titus 2:3-5

The reason why I ask that you open your heart as I write this is because I want you to see how we are blaspheming the word of God...

Blaspheme = to speak impiously or irreverently of (God or sacred things); to speak evil of; slander; abuse; irreverent behavior toward anything held sacred.

Older woman, that definition of blaspheme causes me to search the deepest core of my heart. I, for one, don't want to speak evil of those things that God calls sacred. Motherhood is sacred to Him. This passage encourages us to encourage the younger women to love their children. It does not tell us to roll our eyes upon hearing a mother expecting another child. Nor does it tell us to talk to her about the latest birth control method. It tells us to admonish the young women. To remind them to love their children. Whether that is two, four or ten children. Even if she decides to have one, we are to encourage her to love that child.

So older woman, let us rise up and be Titus 2 women. Let us lend a hand to the young mother and not gossip about her behind her back. Let us compliment that mother when we see her doing something positive in the area of motherhood. Let us smile at the mother in the grocery store. That young woman you see in church, hug her. Tell her that she is doing a great job with her children. Every now and then offer to watch the children while she goes to the grocery store alone. For some mothers, that is like a day at Disneyland. 

I don't know how I would have made it, had it not been for the older women in church encouraging me when my children were little. I hope to be an encouragement to younger women. Especially, my own daughters.

Mothers with younger children, reach out for help. Find an older woman to help you along the way. There are some of us who would love to come along side you and just be there. No strings attached, but just to love on you. Remember that whatever you, as a mother are facing today, it will get better tomorrow. Your children will grow up. They grow up fast. The day will come when they will be able to wipe their own noses and bottoms. They will not always spill milk or smear peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They will become teenagers. Do not dread the teen years. You will make it. You will come out alive and so will your children. Then they become young adults and they will rise up and call you blessed.

...To Love Their Children

Who doesn't love their children? I personally don't know any mother who does not love their children. However, I do know, we as mothers have different ways of showing our children that we love them.

"That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, 

to love their children." ~Titus 2:4

I sat there pondering why would a verse such as this would even appear in the pages of Scriptures. So, of course, I had to search within my own heart to see if there were any areas I needed to work on as a mother. God knows how much I love my children. I really like them as people. They are fun to be around. My days are often willed with laughter when they send me funny text messages. They are not perfect, but as their mother, neither am I. Perhaps that's the problem? I don't know...

I've met mothers who just can not forgive themselves for mistakes they have made training children during their younger years. Most of my children are adults now with the exception of one. I have mom friends who have children around the same age as mine. As mothers we talk about things that are happening with our children. Here's where I think the problem(s) occur when talking about our children. Especially our adult children.

We have the tendency to share too much of our children's personal business.

Hold up! Before you say, "I'm just sharing with my friends." 

Ask yourself this question, "Would my child(ren) want Jane Doe to know that this is going on in their lives?"

I'm not saying we can't share with our friends. I have a few friends that I have heart to heart talks with about some deep personal things that I would not want the world to know. Most of those things are about me. I also share things about my husband and my children. Those things are shared when I'm asking for help while exposing my own flaws as a wife and a mother. Those things are also shared privately.

When we as mothers share things publicly and in a large group settings about our children, is that loving them the way that they would interpret love? We all interpret love differently. To our children, especially our adult children, telling others about their privately struggles and weaknesses could result in hurt feelings and a sense of betrayal. Our intentions are to never hurt our children. That's why we need to take an honest look inward and ask ourselves why are we sharing this or that.

Moms give yourself a break. Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't be too hard on your children either. No I'm not saying to look the other way and nod "yes" to sin. What I am saying, be careful how much we share about our children with others. If you need help processing something that your children are going through, get with one, maybe two people and ask them to pray for you. After they are done praying for you, then ask them to pray with you as you pray for your children. Those are your children. You should be the one bombarding heaven on behalf of your children.

I want to encourage you to love your children like never before. With loving kindness, God drew us to Himself. Let's show our children that kind of love.

Thankful Thursday - Titus 2 Mentors

Titus 2:3-5 "the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things—that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."

November is the month when we celebrate Thanksgiving. I've decided to share what I'm thankful for each Thursday in November. I have so many things to be thankful for, but I wanted to start off by saying how thankful I am for the Titus 2 women who have imparted in my life. I'm so thankful that I had the chance to experience what it's like to have an older woman to live out the Titus 2 mandate.

My heart cannot express enough thanks for Mother Bradford who saw something in the neighborhood girl running wild and playing "hide & seek" with the boys. She would invite me to come into her home. I loved going to her home. It was so peaceful and pretty. She had a floral paintings and always, always had something baking or cooking. Her house smelt good too.

She got permission from my parents to start taking me to church with her. I would go every Sunday, even when I didn't want to go because it gave me a chance to escape reality. My home life was in such disarray and most of my childhood our family didn't have a car. Going to church gave me an opportunity to leave the "projects (ghetto)" for a minute.

Mother Bradford would teach me about how my body belonged to God and He didn't want me sharing it with anyone else. Oh, how she would embrace me after I would share with her my hurt of abuse and being used while trying to find love. Not once did she judge me. Instead, she would tell me about the man that God will send to me that will cherish me and love me. She prepared me for that man and I'm forever grateful to her.

I remember one day inquiring about why she dresses the way she does. Not that she dressed bad or anything, just different. Different from most women in the neighborhood. She always looked pretty. Pretty, just like her home decor. Simple and pretty, not a lot of glitz and glamour, but yet fascinating. She taught me about modesty. I didn't embrace modesty then. It took some time, a long time!

How blessed my life has been not only with Mother Bradford, but many women who have imparted into my life. If I could go back in time, I would glean even harder because I took it for granted that I would always have a Titus 2 mentor in my life.

I will always desire to have a Titus 2 woman in my life. I'm entering a new season in life. I'm now a Titus 2 woman.

Sharing Life

I cannot count the times I've sat at the table for lunch longing to share a tuna fish sandwich with someone. It wasn't because I was bored or home alone. Quite the opposite. My home is always bustling with noise and boredom doesn't exist due to the many sewing and quilting projects.

The longing I have is more than sharing a sandwich, but it's sharing life. As I look around at the different blogs, I see an influx of young women with a Titus 2 heart and a passion to learn how to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Recently, I've had the honor of connecting with them outside blogland. Some are still in there teens.


While reading the Titus 2 passage of Scripture, I often wonder where is the missing link. Are the younger women looking for us older women and we are no where to be found? Are the older women waiting for an opportunity to pour life's wisdom into younger women but they are so busy running to and fro thus not allowing time to glean? Maybe it's neither, but a fear of being transparent.


When we are transparent, we are made visible by a light shining through us. The result of transparency is exposure. When we are exposed, it simply means that others can see through us. 


I know there are things in the lives of women that we just don't want to expose. For me, there were things that I kept hidden for years. I was fearful. Didn't want to be transparent because that meant that other people would know "my business" and those secret things would be exposed. 


What I didn't realize, it's those very things I kept hidden were the very things that God used to set other women free. 


For years I wouldn't talk about my child birthing experiences. I didn't want other women to know that I felt like a failure. I felt as though I failed as a woman because I didn't birth my children naturally. It wasn't until I had a private conversation with a young woman who confided that she felt as though her body betrayed her too. Exposing how I felt about my experience brought freedom to her. Now when I meet women who birthed by cesarean section, I jokingly ask them if they want to join the "C Club." 


Sharing life. Sharing a transparent life. A life unashamed for all to see because the light that's shining through me is the light of Jesus Christ.

Christmas Quilt & Decorations

This is a scene from my little town.

Little one room school houses.

Snowman display inside my curio cabinet.

My 2009 Christmas quilt hanging on the deacon's bench.

Snowman Christmas tree.

Christmas Quilt

As you can see, Christmas is well underway here in my home. I love this time of year. Our Thanksgiving was filled with so much joy and laughter. Love just filled our home and I pray that those who shared Thanksgiving dinner with us felt it as well.

I have some new cookie recipes that I will be trying for the first time this year. During this time of the year, my home always has a candle burning with some kind of cinnamon scent. I love the smell of cinnamon. Sometimes the boys will walk through the door thinking that I have some bread or cookies in the oven, but it's just my candle.

On Friday, November 20th, I hosted a baking party at my house. I was able to share my love for aprons and my passion for baking. I made each of the ladies an apron. I tried making them according to their personalities. I think I did pretty good being that I've only known them for such a short time. We had so much fun in my cozy little kitchen.

Such Sweet Words

Yesterday my dear friend Sheneen came to visit me. She wanted to make a quilt for her daughter Hannah. Someone gave her some cute Holly Hobbit material and she wanted to use it for Hannah's room. She had asked me weeks ago if I would help her with it. Of course I would help her because it would give me an opportunity to fellowship and sew.

When we started out she was frustrated because she wanted to it to be perfect. I had her to stop and look me in the eyes. I told her she was being too hard on herself and it's okay not to have straight stitches. I reminded her that when Hannah becomes a mother and shows her children the quilt, she's not going to show them the crooked stitches. She's going to tell her children how much love she feels each time she looks at the quilt. She will reflect on the quilt and have fond memories of her mother.

After that she looked at me and said, "You have been such a Titus 2 woman to me. I know I'm older than you, but you have"

I'm familiar with the Titus 2. I had to read it again this morning because those words meant so much to me:

Titus 2:3-5 The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

There's so much I want to say on the Titus 2 woman. It won't be today because I'm still cleaning out the tomato stains from the last time I talk to someone about being a Titus 2 woman. Also, because of my weight I've been told when I step on toes it hurts.