Following him as he pursues Him

Call me a girl who's living in a fairy tale and I'll tell you that this is reality. Reality is that I have this unquenchable desire for my husband and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I must start off by saying, we are not perfect. Far from it. But there's a love so deep. This love continues to be fueled by the passion we have for God. I know my fore-mothers are disappointed in my choice of living a "subservient" lifestyle, as they call it. I call it freedom. Freedom to walk in my calling and live my life as a fascinating woman. Not only am I a fascinating woman, as my husband calls me, but I'm fascinated. Fascinated by a man who strong enough to be a man. Yet gentle enough to understand me, a woman. A man who's confident enough in who he is as man by encouraging me to be a woman. As a woman, God places such a high value on me. God said it wasn't good for my husband to be alone. He values me, a woman, so much that He created me to be a helpmeet to my husband. Now if being a helper makes a woman subservient in the eyes of some, so be it. Although, I must confess.....I love being a helpmeet to my husband.I love waking up in the morning thinking of ways I can help my husband's day go better.
Since I'm confessing stuff, I must confess that I pick up my husbands dirty clothes off the floor. I know he's a big boy, but I love to take a whiff of his shirts after a hard days work. He smells so manly.I must confess that I plan my meals around the foods he likes. There's no better sound in the world to me than my man grunting while eating a delicious meal I've prepared.I must confess that my body doesn't belong to me and I've freely given it to him. With a smile on my face too. Oh how I love reaping the benefits. Freely give. Freely you shall receive. How my heart aches for women who have good husbands, but chose to believe the lies by our fore-mothers. Our fore-mothers told us to follow no man. There are numerous Godly men who are just waiting for there wives to trust them. I encourage my sisters to follow them as they pursue God. 

Laundry or Make-Up?

This was originally written on January 3, 2008. The message behind it is still the same. Create memories that will last a lifetime.

Today Sarah and I were home alone for a few hours. It's rare moments to get that one on one with the kids. Normally our one on one consist of having one of them jumping in the car with us as we go to the corner store.

Sarah wanted to do something fun. All I could think of was the load of towels just out of the dryer that needed to be folded and put away. The load in the washer that just completed the spin cycle. The load that was on the floor that I had to walk over just to get to my bathroom sink.

As I looked into her eyes and saw the excitement on her face, I knew it was an opportunity to create a memory.

Sarah has always wanted to put make-up on me. I asked her if she wanted to play "make-up." She said yes.

There was a problem, at least in my opinion.

"What about the laundry?" I asked myself.

I had the choice to either do laundry and be proud of my daily accomplishments or create a memory that will forever be sketched in the memory of Sarah's mind. I chose to use this time to create the memory. The laundry will be there tomorrow. After all, it was there yesterday. Twenty years from now Sarah will not remember stepping on the clothes that were on the floor. She will remember mom taking the time to play "make-up" with her.

So in your day to day living, remember to create lasting memories with your family.

Guess What?

They started courting in December 2009 with the permission of my husband.

Ryan flew up here in February to surprise Ruthie with an engagement ring. The whole family was in on it! You can read about the proposal under the "Courtship" label.

Ruth at the church preparing for her wedding day.

The big day is finally here! They pray and ask God to be the center of their marriage.

Friends and family celebrated with them.

Now say CONGRATULATIONS to Papa and Mema!
I know it's hard to believe that we are going to be grandparents.
I know you're saying to yourself, "Sandra doesn't look a day older than 21 and that handsome husband of hers is 25 & holding!"

Don and I are overjoyed that we are going to be grandparents for the first time.

A few weeks back, Ryan and Ruthie got confirmation that they are expecting a baby. Some say it was way too soon, but we say God is the giver of life. We applaud this young couple for going against the grain of society and see this baby as a blessing rather than a burden.

Now if you can remember to pray for Don and I as we learn boundaries. We've always said that we would never be those grandparents who spoil grandchildren. I sure wish we can take those words back. We have a plan already laid out for this grandbaby. Don and I looked at each other the other day and I said, "We're gonna be in trouble huh?!"

Shades of Gray

Life would be so much easier if things were black and white. One would be able to tell the difference between wrong and right. There are so many shades of gray that it's hard to define the color. Just like sin. We have turned from the true definition of sin which is a voluntary transgression of a religious law or moral principle.

If I were to take a survey of 10 people and ask them to give me a definition of sin, each will define it according to his or her own standard.

We have defined sin the way we see it. Not the biblical definition of what sin is.

A couple dating can have a night of heavy petting and sexual gratification occur without intercourse. No sin committed they say, but it depends on who you ask.

Many pro-lifers invest in stocks, bonds, 401k plans, etc. with the knowledge that their investments fund abortion providers. I believe they sincerely believe that life begins at conception, but are more concerned that they retire in comfort.

It's hard to find a decent movie that the whole family can enjoy together. How confusing it is for our children to grasp the context that the Bible says that we are to drink from our our cistern (Pro. 5:15) when we watch adultery and fornication with them.

I try not to complain often. When I do, God is swift to remind me that change has to occur within me first. It starts right here in my heart. Checking my heart to see if I've allowed my eyes to see sin through the many shades of gray. Seeking forgiveness if I've become lukewarm in any area of my life. Especially here in my home.

I can roll my eyes behind my husband's back and no one will ever know. But I would know. Yes I can justify it and say it's really not that big of a deal. Oh yes it is. First, the eyes roll. Second, the lip smacking and the rolling of the neck too. (I'm from the "ghetto" and I know how to do that quite well.) Before I know it, words will proceed from my mouth that will not show reverence toward my husband nor glorify my Father. I have to call it what it is. Sin.

I can not outwardly show respect for my husband while disrespecting him in my thought life.

If my heart is right, my eyes will be focused. If my eyes are focused, I can see things more clear. If I see things clear, I'll know the difference between wrong and right. Biblically speaking that is.

Proverbs 3:7 says, "Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil."

I Only Have One Shot

Some things in life I only get one shot to hit the target. There are many things that I can redo. I can redo the country decor in my home and bring it up to date with a more modern look. Many times I've looked in the mirror to redo my hair because I'm trying to cover up the wisdom that is starting to show through my black hair. One thing I can't redo is the watching my children grow up. I only have this time once.

Sarah is 12 today. She's at a fun age. It seems as though it was yesterday that I held her in my arms and nursed her for the first time. Those past years are gone and I can't redo them. Although sometimes I wished I could. Like the morning when she was 5 years old. I was impatient with her because she didn't read "Dick and Jane" the way she read it the previous day. Reflecting back on it, how silly of me. We live and we learn.

Don and I have spent countless hours late at night talking about our marriage and children. Guess you could say we communicate a lot and I believe that plays a huge part in our success here at home.

He was telling me about the peace he has at work because he knows I'm here taking care of home. We got into a conversation of me working outside the home. Only because I brought it up. It's the farthest thing from his mind. I'm not sure why I wanted to talk about it. Maybe because it's considered the normal thing for a woman to do once her kids are older. After all, my youngest is 12 and I've received enough hits from other woman that it may be time. Struggling to overcome my man pleasing and wanting to fit it, reality hit.

Reality hit when Don reminded me the passage of Scripture in Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."

I was so blessed to hear how much he appreciates me and the things I do around here. Things that I thought go unnoticed. He reminded me how valuable I was in the home. He said without me, there would be no home. It would just be a place to live. I couldn't help but blush and bat my eyelashes. He praised me as a mother to his children and remarked that they are the way they are largely due to the sacrifices I've made.

At one point in my life I didn't think I could be a good mom. When I started having children, I was young. Real young. One thing I knew for sure, I wanted the hearts of my children to belong to Christ. Which meant I had to do my part.

God had given me the right arrow (His Word) to target the core of their hearts. It was up to me to do the right thing with the arrow. I only had one shot. I couldn't go back and redo this. I had to take time to study the hearts of each one of my children to make sure I didn't miss the target. I couldn't be wrapped up in myself. The time is at hand right now.

There are so many things trying to capture the hearts of my children. The things of the Earth have their arrows ready. Waiting patiently for their moment to target the hearts of my children. I must take on the role that Jesus did. He became a mediator between God and man. I must be a mediator between the world and the hearts of my children.

I have my arrow in hand. I may miss out on shopping trips, extended vacations and dining out, but I won't miss my target....the heart of my children.

Making Memories

My 19 year old son really got me to thinking this week about eternal things. One day, I will go into eternity and the things of Earth won't matter anymore. To me at least. What will matter are the memories that I leave behind for my family to cherish.

I've been on a quest since becoming a mother and a wife to make every second count. During this quest I'm hoping to make memories that will be cherished not only by my children, but my children's children as well.

Sarah (11), has been learning how to sew. I've been teaching her this summer to make simple things. She just completed her first apron that she made for her older sister who just got married.

One day while sewing, I touched her precious hands as I helped her guide the material through the sewing machine. I gently closed my eyes. I remember those same hands used to be so tiny that she could barely wrap them around my finger. The smell of the Johnson's Baby Lotion came to my mind. Oh, how I loved that smell. That smell how now been replaced by Bath & Body Works lotion. Where did time go?

I smiled as our hands touched and we finally got a straight 5/8 in. seam. She looked at me with excitement in her eyes. It was a proud moment for her and a memory she will never forget.

Sarah's precious hands

It's reversible

My Passion Stems From My Past

I had an interesting conversation with someone. During this conversation I was told that it seems like I had it all together. My life seems like it's perfect. This person wasn't being mean, but I had to chuckle a bit. I don't have it all together. The perfect life happens sometimes when I'm asleep at night. I'm dreaming of course.

I explained that my passion for marriage, family, purity, and home life, stems from my past. A lot of things happen in my life that would disqualify me to speak on such subject. I failed. I failed multiple times. I didn't do well on some of the tests that I had to take in life. The school of hard knocks taught me many valuable lesson that I've passed on to my children. But God!

God broke down the hard wall that encased my heart. After watching the men around me mistreat women, I vowed to never submit to any man and have him tell me what to do. I wanted to be Ms. Corporate America and bring freedom to women everywhere. Case in point, a friend reminded me of the time I took a briefcase to school in the 8th grade. I was serious about not growing up being barefoot and pregnant.

At a young age I desired marriage and wanted lots of children. If more women are honest, they do too. Fear of having to share my husband with other women caused me to push that desire to the back of my mind. Most of the wives I knew accepted the idea that a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. I was told, "A piece of man is better than no man at all." But my heart was crying out to someday have a husband that would be faithful to me. In my quest to find that at a young age, I failed. I made so many mistakes.

My heart became hard. Bitterness found a recliner and made itself at home in my heart. Bitterness had the nerve to bring a newspaper to read because it knew it would be there for a while. It had found a safe dwelling place.

When I allowed God to change my way of thinking, brick by brick the walls came down. I saw marriage the way God intended for it to be. A wise older woman prayed for me constantly. God sent other women to help me see that my way of thinking was contradicting to the written Word of God.

I could no longer deny my desire for lots of children. I'm a woman. I have a womb. My womb cried out to be filled. To deny the fact that my womb exist, was a denial of my Creator who created it for a purpose.

When the truth was presented to me that all the murmuring about not wanting a man was lie, I became indignant. How dare she confront me and call me a liar? She didn't confront me it was the Word of God.

The Lord God said to the woman in Genesis 3:16, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and He shall rule over you."

I couldn't deny it any more. Yes I wanted to be married and have lots of children. Yes I wanted to be a stay at home mom and walk around barefoot and pregnant. I don't like wearing shoes anyway. (By the way, my husband loves me being pregnant. Most men do, although they may not admit it.) Yes I wanted my husband to enjoy my home cooked meals after he came home from work. Yes I wanted a Godly man to make decisions regarding the family. The only way to have that, I had to change.

My life has changed. I've decided to not burn the bra, but put lace on them instead. I don't have to roar in order to be heard. Women don't know the power they have when they use their sweet voices.

My past may not qualify me to teach on certain things. It's not my past that qualifies me. It's God. From a painful past, my passion rise. My passion stems from my past.

*Luke 7:36 ~ A Sinful Woman Forgiven