Looking Back, Looking Ahead

As parents, you often times wonder if you've made the right decisions in training your children. Especially when you train them against of the grain of society. I really hope that you are encouraged by this post was written by my daughter Ruth Miller. I saw it on her Facebook page. It really touched my heart and I wanted to share.

I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. I remember as a kid, days would go by so slowly. You could be outside playing for what seemed liked forever, only to find out two hours went by. And now, I'm an adult. My days filled up with cleaning and cooking, maintaining our budget, reading books on pregnancy, and preparing for labor and delivery with exercise videos. And the craziest thing of all is I'm about to be a mommy! Wow. It never stops giving me the "wow" factor when I think about it.

Last year seemed to fly by, with graduation and the wedding and finding out we were having a baby. It was such a great year! 2010 was probably the greatest year of my life so far, and yet, 2011 is sure to top it within the next two months when Mikey arrives.
It wasn't until I became pregnant that I really truly began to understand the power the love of a parent has.

Whenever I got sick or threw up due to morning sickness, the first thought in my head was my baby. Is my baby ok? Is he getting the nutrients he needs? Its mind-boggling how without effort, your thoughts, emotions, and energy are all focused on this little being whom you haven't seen yet. And how much relief you get when you find out they are ok.

It's amazing how excited I get when my little boy moves in my stomach when he hears his daddy talking to him in the morning. And how much emphathy I have when he has the hiccups literally all day long. I laugh when I look down at my stomach as he rolls from one side to another, making my stomach very lopsided. It touches my heart when he starts to calm down when I talk to him nice and quiet.

The love I have for my baby boy is unlike anything I've ever experienced. And I finally understand why my parents did some of the things they did growing up. It was because they loved us that they didn't let us sleep over at just anyone's house (looking back, that was one of the wisest things they ever did. You never know what goes on in people's homes). It was because they loved us that they didn't let us pick out every toy we wanted at the store (we'd end up spoiled and ungrateful if they did). It was because they loved us that they disciplined us (if not, we would be some of the most unrulely kids!). It was because they loved us that they decided to move our family from Vegas (though I hated the idea at first, spending so much time with my parents in Idaho was totally worth relocating). And it was because they loved me that they let me spread my wings and fly when the time came.

I really hope to be the kind of parent to my kids that my parents were to us. One who puts my children first, despite what society says. One who teaches my kids to respect those who are older than them. One who invests my personal time into teaching life lessons to my children. One who teaches them to respect their father by respecting him myself. One who never misses a game, or a recital, or a play. One who encourages them to never give up, even when things get hard. One who forgives and doesn't hold faults against you. One who never lets a day go by without saying "I love you"...

I'm so excited to be a mom, and I welcome this new chapter of my life with open arms! I count down the days until Ryan and I will be holding Michael in our arms, looking down in amazement at this little guy God chose to bless us with..
Nothing is going to top that day :)

The White Shower Curtain Liner: Did it really have to go down like that?

In my quest to try and conserve on energy, I came up with a brilliant plan that we've been implementing. Since no one lives in the bathroom, we've been keeping the door closed because that room doesn't need to be heated. If you're familiar with keeping a room that's wet in closed quarters, we know what happens. Mold!

My plan has been a success in keeping the energy bill low. I wish I could say that for the mold. I didn't make it clear to the children that the fan needs to run while taking a shower and leave the door open for a bit afterward. At least until you can see the mirror.

These are not my curtains.

I have these pretty lace shower curtains that I've had since my husband and I were married. I take pride in caring for them. I love the ecru color because it's soft on the eyes and gives the decor a more homey feel.

The other day, my son mentioned that the liner needs to be replaced. He said he would pick up one while he was out. He took his little sister with him because he had a few stops to make. I'm thankful that he enjoys having his younger siblings tag along with him.

I was so excited. Not because he was picking up a new liner, but because he was driving by a place that sells my favorite drink. He makes it a habit to pick up his momma a special drink every time he passes this place on his way home. I walked him to the door and squealed about how much I would enjoy this drink. He asked if I had a coupon. I didn't and checked online. No new coupons that day. He kissed him momma goodbye as always.....

Three hours later they returned home. When I heard his key turn the doorknob, he entered. Alas, no drink in his hand, but a shower curtain liner.

My face must have shown disappointment. I'm still working on having a poker face and not letting my feelings show. Smiling for me is the norm. When I'm not, something may be wrong. I must confess though, it's very hard for me to hide my emotions. They are written on my face.

He asked what was wrong. Giving him the response that we women give, I replied, "Nothing!" Knowing all the while I was upset. Upset because he didn't give me wanted I wanted.....

He apologized and informed me that he was getting ready to replace the liner. I asked him what color did he get. When he said it was a white liner. I felt my nostrils flare. Trying to keep my cool. The key word is trying. I asked him when has he ever saw me put up a white liner in the bathroom. He stood there. Stunned because he didn't understand why I lashed out the way that I did. How was he suppose to know that my shower curtains are ecru and a white liner was borderline blasphemy in my eyes?!

Later that night he was saying goodnight. I responded in a kind, but somewhat cold way. Then it happened. The moment when I was convicted by my actions toward the son who needs the hugs and the "I love you" the most.

Had I withheld the things that he needed the most all because things didn't go my way and I didn't get what I wanted? Had my son spent his whole evening wondering why I was upset when he was really trying to help me? Did I withhold love and affection from my husband and children because I didn't get my "special drink" and the liner was white?

Did it really have to go down like that?

No it didn't, but it did.

How do I pick myself up after behaving the way I did?

No, I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs making my husband and the children scurry for cover. No, it was worse because it was subtle. The hugs weren't as tight and long as usual. The "I love you" didn't have the normal spunk. The daily talks with my sons on their latest business venture didn't occur because I was "busy." Busy with what? Sulking in my flesh that didn't get gratification that day.

That's when the Scriptures that I've quoted so many times came back to my remembrance:

"Your Word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against You." -Psalm 119:11

I had sinned in my heart. My heart wasn't pure at that moment. I allowed my wants to over ride the needs of my family. I had to run to the mercy seat of my Father. It's funny, when we sin, we want the mercy of God. When others sin, especially if we feel they sinned against us, we want judgment.

Just like the Psalmist David, I too, had to say, "Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit." -Psalm 51:9-12

Seeking forgiveness and forgiveness was granted, I hugged and hugged my family.

As wives and mothers, how many times do we hold back our love, time and affection from our family because of how we feel? Or because they didn't perform or do what we asked or wanted? I wonder if we as women realize how much power and influence we have in our homes.

I want to encourage you to grab hold of this Scripture and apply it to your life and home:
"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so." -Proverbs 3:27.

Oh, he didn't get my the drink because he simply forgot and got side tracked. Ha!

Cream Cheese Pound Cake

Someone gave me this recipe about 18 years ago. It was written on a small piece of pink paper. Over the years the recipe got oil and other liquids spilled on it. I copied it onto an index card for safe keeping. I still have the pink piece of paper with the original recipe on it for keepsake. I make this cake every year at Christmas time.

Recipe:

3 cups of cake flour

3 cups of sugar

6 eggs

2 sticks of butter

1 stick of margarine

1 (8 oz.) package of cream cheese

1 envelope of dream whip

1 Tbsp of vanilla flavor

Grease and flour bundt pan. The butter, margarine and cream cheese should be at room temperature. Cream butter, margarine and cream cheese. Add sugar and eggs. Continue to mix. Add cake flour and dream whip. Beat well. Add vanilla flavor and continue beating. Pour batter in pan. You may have to smooth the cake out with a rubber spatula.

Bake @ 325 degrees for one and a half (1 1/2) hours.

After the cake is done, I melt a half a stick of butter and pour it over the top of the cake. Especially in the cracked parts. Enjoy!

The Radiator, Submission and an Unexpectant Blessing

What does a radiator and submission have in common? Nothing really. Unless, you consider the fact that through a broken radiator, I had to decide whether or not I was going to submit my will or His.

Early one morning my husband came home and informed me that something was wrong with the car. With a big heavy sigh, I asked him if he let the car warm up. Then I proceeded to tell him 101 reasons why he should have let the car warm up. 

During the night we had one of the coldest nights thus far. The last thing we needed was a car that was broken. We had just brought it. Things were perfect because I was just issued my driver's license after not driving for some time.

Why would this happen?

Surely, if I get up and go down there the car would start. Yes it started, but idled high and over heated right away.

Don and I talked about what we were going to do. We looked at the money we had in the "car" envelope and there wasn't much there. We didn't know what was wrong with it. He had an idea that it was the radiator. Sure enough, it was.

I asked him if he wanted to have it towed somewhere. He said that wouldn't be necessary because he was going to fix it if I would hold the flashlight.

I just stood there. Outside on a cold November morning watching everything encircle me as I played those words over and over again. My husband has never fixed a radiator, at least I didn't think so.

I opened my mouth to ask him if he had ever fixed a radiator, but before I could finish my sentence, he said, "Honey, because you tell me all the time that I can do anything, I believe I can fix this radiator."

*Side Note: Ladies, please tell your husbands how much you believe in them. Other people can tell him that, but what really matters to him is if you believe in him.

We ordered the radiator. The part came in the next day.

We spent the following morning taking the old radiator out. It was a grueling task. I took the word helpmeet to a whole new level. I did manage to keep my cute skirt clean in the midst of it all.


On the third day, we spent another cold morning installing the new radiator. Got it in but the car wouldn't start. By this time, I was cold, tired and frustrated. Surely he would have someone to come fix it or have it towed.....

We came in and talked about our next move. I had a solution to the car problem. The neighbor next door had just gotten her car fixed by the mechanic down the street. She raved about him. A sister from church highly recommended her mechanic. She really trust him.

I presented my solution to take it to either one of these mechanics. He said no because there's no more money left in the car envelope. That was fine because we could use credit. I don't know why he didn't think of that. If only he would really listen to me. Our car problem could be solved in one day.

My husband said no because he felt that wasn't the answer. That was a quick fix and would put us in debt.

At this point not only did God had to control my tongue. He had to control my neck too. I'm a sistah girl from the ghetto. I know how to roll my neck and tell somebody off. I was very good at it BC (Before Christ).

He asked me to trust him in this situation. I panicked on the inside. I did manage to control my tongue and my neck! My flesh hurt though because I wanted to give into it and usurp his authority as head of our home.

It's easy to submit when you agree. It's when you don't agree that shows what you're really made of. I had to decide if I was going to practice what I teach other women to do. Submit, even when you don't want to or when you feel your husband is wrong. During these times, what's in your heart is really exposed.

Was there something in me that needed to be exposed? I had to step back and pray.....

Day four: We went out there trying to figure out what was wrong with the car. I had to remind myself to not only watch what I said, but my body language. (Note: A whole lot can be said without a spoken word. The body language will say it all.)

Day five: We went out there trying to figure out what was wrong with the car. Car didn't start. I suggested that maybe we should have someone come here to look at it verses towing it to a shop.

He looked at me and said, "That's a great idea."

Our friend couldn't come for another 2 days.

He came. He couldn't figure out what was wrong.

I wanted to bring up having it towed again. I heard a still small voice say, "Shhh....."

Laid down that night later than usual. We all had to get up early and ride in my sons cars to church.

My silent prayer, "Lord you said that if we would be faithful, you would open up the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that we won't have room to receive. You said that men would give unto us. You said that I'm to reverence my husband and submit to him. I really don't understand, but I trust You."

I kept saying, "I trust You...."

I had to go back home. On my way back to church, Don called me and said a couple wanted to talk to us.

When I arrived at church, Don and I talked to the couple. They had just gotten a new car and wanted to give us their old one.

Our mouths dropped! Tears started to flow.....

They gave us a car! No strings attached. A nice car too.

Had I not come under the submission of my husband, even when I didn't agree with him, I would have missed out on what God was trying to teach me. He was teaching me to trust Him. Trust what the Scriptures say about my role as a wife.

Also, one can say that my husband should have just taken it to the shop. He decided to trust what God said in His word to owe no man nothing.

As a wife to my dear husband, I can trust him as head of our home because God is his head. There's safety in and submission. The rewards are great. Just look at my new car.

By the way, I named her Ginger because she's golden and very pretty!

Oh, I forgot to mention that the dealer where we brought our car from is sending their mechanic to our house to look at the broken car. I'll keep y'all updated ;)

Words of Wisdom

Today I went to a bridal shower for a precious young lady that I've come to really admire. Her desire to please God and do what's right has captivated the heart of a man. She and her beau will make a covenant to one another on 1-1-11 at 11am.

After the games were played and the gifts were opened, it was time for "words of wisdom." During this time, married women share words of wisdom to the bride to be. Advice on communication, forgiveness, prayer, etc., are shared with the new bride.

Well, it was my turn. I wasn't sure what I was going to say at first. I knew in my heart what I wanted to say, but I didn't know how to convey the words without being accused of bringing condemnation. Flashbacks quickly ran across my mind about the last time I shared my "words of wisdom" at a bridal shower regarding ministering to your husband.

When the video camera came my way, yes they did tape it, I said, "Don't say no."

I breath a sigh of relief after I got the words out. I know that the women knew exactly what I was referring to. Relief didn't last long. Someone asked if I would explain that. I gave a quick version as my heart started to beat at a faster pace. Quickly glancing around looking for tomatoes. I already have enough salsa from the last time tomatoes were thrown at me. Ahhh, no tomatoes in sight. Just love from my sisters in Christ.

I can't remember what I said word for word, but here's my "words of wisdom"....

"As a wife, only you can minister to your husband in a way that no one else is suppose to do. He can go to church every Sunday, listen to the preacher preach God's Word and leave church feeling good. He can go to work 5 days a week and have the boss pat him on his back for a job well done. But what he really needs is for you, his wife, to minister to him by giving yourself physically."

In plain English, I would tell a young lady getting married that her husband will need sex. I would tell her that God has chosen her to minister to this need that her husband will have. A man can get sex from anywhere, but only you, as his wife can minister to him. It's a need that only she was designed to fulfill.

I'm really speaking here to my sisters in Christ. I can't speak to the women in the world. I don't want to pattern my marriage after the world. If we, as Christian wives treat our husbands like the world, we shouldn't be shocked when they act like the world.

I've jumped off the world's bandwagon a long time ago. I no longer string that out of tune guitar while belting out the loud roar of a song that's left many women my age lonely and empty. Instead, I've chosen to embrace God's plan for me. I know my body is not my own. I won't deprive my husband and not minister to him. (II Corinthians 7:4-5)

Words of a Homemaker

God, I want to do great things for you,

And speak to all the nations!

God replies:

That's well and good,

But for now

Fix your children's complications.

Lord, I want to straighten up the world,

Feed the hungry and fulfill someone's wishes!

God says:

Fine, but for the present,

You need to wash the dishes.

Lord, I want to preach, proclaim your name

And bring salvation to the earth!

God says:

Good! Then teach your children

And preach my name to those you've given birth.

At the end of the day,

I think of all I've done.

But as I look it seems,

I've accomplished nothing for the Son!

God I had no time to witness one on one,

I couldn't join my church group,

They said I missed out on lots of fun.

My household is the only thing

That managed to be cleaned,

My neighbor is the only one,

Besides my family I could feed.

The only ones I've read Your Word

Are those within my home.

God I've done so very little

And I feel so all alone!

God says:

I've seen the way you cleaned and cooked

And taught your kids My name.

Tomorrow morning at eight o' clock,

I'll watch you do the same.

The work you do at home,

Though no one really sees,

Is helping to raise little ones

To grow and worship me.

My ways are not your ways,

I don't expect you yet to see,

But the precepts that you've taught your children,

Will help others bow the knee.

Your children will reach out to others,

Your example in their mind.

They'll do great work for Me

And their children will respond in kind.

The hand that rules the world,

Also rocks the cradle.

Because of you, your children love Me,

All their hearts are stable.

Though your house is your domain,

Your tasks seem rather plain,

Your efforts will reach the multitudes,

Though from humble work they came.

I found this on the internet. I tried finding the author of this poem, but couldn't. Whomever wrote this poem, I want to say thank you. 

~~~~~

Yesterday after church, my children were talking about how much they appreciated us for not making them feel like a burden when they were younger. I sat there with a joyful heart as I looked at them while they were eating. The thoughts rapidly raced through my mind of the different times when they reached milestones in their lives.

How quickly they grow up. Cherish your children. Make a memory today. You can never have this day with them again. Watch them and keep them close. They may reach a milestone today. Don't miss it.

~~~~~

I hope and pray that all homemakers feel encouraged today and the days to come. Please know that what you do today, will be your reward tomorrow.

Winner of the "New Life" Apron Give Away is.....

 I just want to say thank you to all the women who left comments about what a new life means to you. Some of the comments really tugged my heart. I prayed and thought about each one of you on a daily basis for the last week. Blessing to you and your families.

 Here are the names ready to be drawn.....

 My hand got stuck in the mason jar. This is a wide mouth jar too. Hmm... :)

Here's our winner! Congratulations Nabila Grace!

*Update: Nabila was so touched by Jill K.'s story, that she giving her gifts to her.
Jill K., your story touched the hearts of many that read your comment. We thank our Father who is the giver of life. We rejoice with you!