The Marriage Bed

Bone of my Bone,
Flesh of my flesh
Breathe of my breathe
...My refuge, My safe haven
is in your arms with my head upon your chest
My covering, my protection
Enveloped with complete security.
listening to the rhythm of your heartbeat
It plays my favorite melody.
Your fingers run through every strand of my hair
a soft kiss on my head
Falling asleep in my favorite place,
pure and undefiled,
is our marriage bed.

By: Katrina Smith

Katrina Smith is the author of the book The Butterfly Movement ~ From Survival to Purpose

"My beloved is mine, and I am his." -Song of Solomon 2:16

Here lately I've been getting emails from women asking me what's acceptable in the marriage bed. What's acceptable in the marriage bed will vary from couple to couple. In saying that, I do know what is not acceptable. What is not acceptable is another person. In order for the marriage bed to be the sacred place God intended for the husband and wife, there cannot be any other person or anything that will distract the husband from pleasing his wife, the wife from pleasing her husband.

"Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also our bed is green." -Song of Solomon 1:16

The Shulamite woman said something here about their bed that really stood out to me. She said their bed is green. When something is green, it has life. There was life in their marriage bed. God's original intent for the marriage bed was not death, but life. Our marriage bed should be pure, undefiled and full of life.

Life Through My Eyes

I'm constantly having those proud mommy moments. Two of my sons directed this short film. It's based on a true story.

Never judge someone by what you see. You never know what the story is behind that person's life. There's always a story. My family has a story. This true story could have been based on my family. There was a time when we felt hopeless. There was a time when we were almost homeless.

The Fig Leaves Weren't Enough

What if I told you that in the beginning of time mankind has struggled with modesty would you believe me? The issue with modesty is nothing new. When I typed in the word "modesty" in the search engine on the internet, about 15,600,000 results came up. That tells me two things. Either people are trying to understand the meaning of modesty. Or people are writing about modesty because immodesty is an issue.

If I were to tell you that in the beginning of time God never intended for nakedness to be wrong would that give you the freedom to walk around with no clothes on? God created the body. The body is beautiful. His first intentions for mankind was to walk in freedom unclothed. But what happened that made something so beautiful to be the downfall of so many?

When Adam and the woman's eyes were opened after they sinned (disobeyed) they realized something.....

"Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings." Genesis 3:7

After looking at just one fig leaf, I wonder how many fig leaves did it take to cover their naked bodies. The Scripture doesn't say they covered their whole bodies. It says they made themselves coverings. What did they cover? For you and I when we clothed ourselves each day, the first thing we do is cover our private areas. Even with our private areas being covered, still we are not fully clothed.....

After God spoke to the serpent, the woman and Adam, He clothed them.
"Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them." Genesis 3:21.

Mankind was in a fallen state. In our fallen state, God knew that we needed help in clothing ourselves. Remember we tried before with the fig leaves, but the fig leaves just weren't enough. We were still exposed. Imagine how He felt as He was making tunics to cover up something so beautiful. But left uncovered, He knew that mankind would self destruct.

That brings us to the day in which we live in. Many of us today have chosen to clothe ourselves. We no longer feel that modesty matters. We are told if it looks good then flaunt it. Let us not forget we (mankind) covered ourselves in the beginning and it wasn't sufficient. Although you may have the body and want to flaunt it, as Christian women, we need to go back to the beginning.

Imagine Adam waking up after being in a deep sleep and seeing this beautiful woman. Maybe Adam experienced a physical change that occurred in his body because he preached his first message in Genesis 2:23, And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man." That man was excited by what he saw.

It's amazing to me that they were both naked and were not ashamed.

Many men today are ashamed because they are physically responding to seeing images that are not meant for them to see. Especially in the church. Men can work in an office setting and not get as enticed as they do as when they attend church. In the office, there's a professional dress code which applies. When you start to work for a company they will give you a company manual. Most company manuals have a "dress code" section. As Christian women we have a manual, the Bible. In it there's a dress code for us.

"In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works." I Timothy 2:9-10.

I'm not saying that a woman should not look good. I'm not saying that looking frumpy means you've finally arrived and now you're dressing modestly. No. What I am saying is that we as Christian women need to clothe ourselves properly and wear sufficient clothing like the ones God made for Adam and the woman.

Being in a fallen state, we can't lean on our own understanding of what being properly clothed means. We have to turn to the Bible. Just covering certain areas does not mean you are fully clothed. We can cover our breast, but leave the cleavage open. That's not being fully clothed.

The next time you get dressed ask yourself, "Am I just covering myself like Adam and the woman, or am I fully clothed?" Remember the fig leaves weren't enough.

Better Than Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls

This summer I find myself enjoying the company of my youngest child who will officially be a teenager soon. Earlier today the children and I were talking about the morning that Sarah and my husband made cinnamon rolls. I remember that day vividly. The cinnamon rolls were about an inch wide and 2 inches high. Sarah informed me that it was my husband who didn't listen to her and that's why the cinnamon rolls came out the way they did.

Though it's true the cinnamon rolls didn't turn out the way she had hoped that day, but she will never forget the time spent with her father. It's all about making memories that will last a lifetime. Today, I made memories with Sarah. We made some "Better Than Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls."

Here's the recipe we used: Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls.
Since we are not fans of cream cheese frosting, we did this one:

• Vanilla Frosting
• 2 cups powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon butter, melted
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• milk or cream (2 to 4 tablespoons)

 Getting things ready.

 Rolling out the dough.

Spreading the butter.

Spreading the brown sugar & cinnamon.

Rolling up the dough. (At this point, it smells good and it's not in the oven yet)

 All rolled up and ready to be cut.

Sarah is doing a great job.

Ready for the oven.

 Making the frosting while the cinnamon rolls are in the oven.
(Now it smells even better in my home. "Home Sweet Home")

All done and ready for frosting.

(Ooops! I had to step away because of the drool.)

 Ready for my family to enjoy.

Proverbs 31:12

 

As a Christian, I strive to be like that woman Proverbs 31 makes reference to. So often as I’ve read this passage of Scripture, a key verse was overlooked. It was verse 12.

One day I sat down and pondered this verse. I was quite puzzled because I didn’t understand why this verse stuck out to me and why I couldn’t get it off my mind. I was being a good wife and a good mother. I meant no harm to my husband. I wanted the best for him. That’s when I had an “ah ha” moment. This verse says all the days of her life. That means every single day. Even on those days when I didn’t feel like it or thought my husband was worthy enough.

You see there are some days when I don’t do my husband good. It’s those days when I allow my heart to be controlled by my feelings. Those days when I allow my thought life to be controlled by what I see. Yes, it’s those days when my flesh takes control because it no longer wants to be denied. My flesh says, “You don’t have to serve him today. You did enough on yesterday.” It’s on those days when I die to my flesh that I serve my husband with a joyful heart. I think twice before I say something that may hurt his ego. I put his needs above mine. Therefore, I must die to self on a daily basis to make sure I do him good and not evil all the days of my life.

The Going-Away Mentality

The days in my neck of the woods are still somewhat cool. We have had some picture perfect days. Where I live, those days are a sign that summer is fast approaching. My heart longs for the days when the sun burst through and the clouds vanish.

As I have been preparing summer activities for my family, it has kept me occupied. Although I have not written anything in stone, I do have some ideas of what I wanted to do this summer. Some of those include learning Hebrew with one of my sons and jewelry making with my youngest daughter. While my ideas seem to increase, I knew summer time didn't. I had to start narrowing things down. So many things on my list (that's posted inside my head that no one can see) included a lot of time away from home. That's when I remember reading about "The Going-away Mentality"

I found it while reading this book.

The Going-away Mentality:

"What is a going-away mentality? It is the mentality that we need an abundance of social activities that make us run hither and yon to have a good time and do fun things. It means going shopping, mostly just to see what is there and to have something to do. It means going to see a friend, even though we just saw her last evening in church. Sometimes it means committee meetings, birthday surprises, baby showers, Tupperware parties, or something similar. We are restless and discontent unless we have somewhere to go. This mentality gnaws at family life a little like a dog gnaws at a bone, and soon nothing is left. It takes a family to have a family life, and if part of the family is missing, the circle is not complete."

Whew! That was a mouthful. It was said quite nicely compared to how an older woman told me in my earlier years of establishing my family. She simply told me to "stop running the streets." Appalled as I was, I couldn't get mad at her because she was telling me the truth.

It is not that this woman didn't want me having fun. She saw that I was to busy outside of my home, when I should have been busy inside my home. The only way I can do that is if I was home.

It is amazing what can get done around my home when I apply my energies here. It is not to say that the children and I will not venture outside the home this summer. The important thing is to learn boundaries. Learning when to say "no" to things that can disrupt the family life at home. I must say goodbye to some things and say hello to new opportunities that await me here at home.

Glimpse of Our Family

Each month I try to learn something new. This month I learned how to do videos. I was so proud of myself. My husband raved about my video so much that I wanted the world to see it. There's nothing like a man who thinks you're the best at everything you do :)